Thursday, May 02, 2013

Hoping for a solution

Off to see my psych today, hoping I will remember everything I need to tell him in half an hour. As you can probably tell from the fact I haven't updated this for so long, I have been in a bipolar depression for quite some time. Some of it was circumstantial (lack of space over the summer possibly, stress of a new course) but no longer.

Currently I find myself sitting for hours at a time without realising what I am doing. It is taking a huge amount of effort to do just about anything. There's been no sewing this school holiday but definitely means something. I am tense all the time, like having a huge surge of adrenalin, though interestingly we went to Tree Adventures last week and, in spite of my fear of heights, I had no problem, no wobbly feelings at all.

I am just getting by, it seems. But that is not enough. I am missing the joyous side of my personality but am aware that anti depressants may not be a solution given the feelings of tension.

We shall see.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

One more half

Today Hayley and I ran in another Half Marathon. The wonderful Waitakere Half. That makes 3 half marathons in 5 weeks (I think).

I have been having a weepy time lately, brought on by wedding dress hunting with a friend. Memories of my dad, who passed a couple of years ago, resurfaced which made me sad but that then led to a bipolar dip. I found myself lethargic and sore from stress.

My legs today felt sore before I started but they didn't get any worse and Hayley has such enthusiasm and humour that you can't dwell on anything apart from hunky firemen or silly words games.

The school holidays finish today. Normal transmission will resume shortly!

Oh and in case you are wondering, I am posting every day on my 'crafty' blog an unexpected hug for Blogtober. Maybe I'll try the same in November on this blog...

Saturday, October 13, 2012

One of my heroes-Ruby Wax

Watched this in bed last night.

I have been concentrating on my other Blog-an unexpected hug for Blogtoberfest but somehow this didn't fit on there (I have noticed I mention bipolar on my craft blog and the numbers go down...ho hum)

I love Ruby Wax and her passion and her honesty. I remember watching her on Celebrity Fame Academy and going 'yep that's me' as she bounced off the ceiling!

Oh and I LOVE her jacket :-)

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

2 in 8 days

Half marathons that is.

Did the Onehunga half, which is flat and lovely, if a little windy. The awesome Hayley Lowe ran with me, just like last time, but she had already run 6 km that morning as she is training for the Auckland Marathon. She spent much of the run trying to convince me to join her and for a while the endorphins convinced me it was a good idea. But then on Monday morning, normal service was resumed and my sore ankle suggested it was not a good idea!

All is well now. The swelling has gone down and the entry has gone in for the Waitakere Half next  month with the possibility of trying to find an entry into the Auckland HALF on Trademe if all goes well. It would be awesome to run over the Harbour Bridge!

We did run a little faster than last week, just-2.25:18. I felt we were closer to 2.20 but hey!

I recommend those cold baths. Sat in one for 5 minutes after the run and, apart from the ankle, all the joints and muscles are feeling great.

Been feeling good lately. Possibly this is because of the running, possibly because of spending time with Hayley, who is so cool and funny and almost as mad as I am, possibly because of the sense of achievement or possibly because I have been able to eat cake as a result of this running :-)

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


OK so a photo isn't actually proof that I finished the thing, but here is a photo taken on Scenic Drive of Hayley and I grinning inanely on the Lydiard half marathon run.

And for further proof here is a screen shot of the official result!

I think the endorphins must have kicked in as just after this we talked about doing the full marathon next year AND doing the Onehunga half marathon THIS WEEKEND! Now I know I am made but still...

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Today I ran a half marathon

And boy was it full of Ups and Downs. I live in the Waitakeres in West Auckland NZ, which is where the legendary athletics coach Arthur Lydiard trained the likes of Peter Snell and Murray Halberg to Olympic Gold medals using a revolutionary training technique involving long distance running in the hills.

Today was the Arthur Lydiard Legend Marathon which followed his training route. I didn't do the full marathon, not after damaging my ankle so badly in January that I seriously thought I would never run again! I had run the odd 8.4k in training with maybe one 9k and a 12k with lots of walking. My friend Hayley had been entered in the half marathon as a joke by some work mates (after she had run the Wellington Marathon, mind you) and on a little run asked if I would consider run/walking it with her. I thought long and hard. Could my body (I mean legs) stand up to it? I am nowhere near half marathon fit and this one is supposed to be hilly!

So I entered. Early this week I ran with hubby, only 6k and then I had to walk occasionally due to my calves pulling. Things were not looking good!

But never underestimate the power of a good event. There is no way I could have got round that route if it wasn't an organised event with marshalls, water stations and road markers. There is something about an official finish line that makes you want to keep going. And go we did. I am good on hills. Psychologically I am good on hills and my mate Hayley was grateful of the technique I employ. Aim for a point about five metres in front of you, get to it, choose another point etc etc. This was extended to include "Bloody hell that's a big hill. Tell you what let's get to that little crest about a third of the way up and walk from there" Of course at the crest the big bit of the hill no longer looks so bad so we run the whole thing!

Suffice it to say we a time of 2 hours 28 minutes and 11 seconds. Officially she was ahead of me but that's ok!

She ran the whole thing whilst I had to walk a couple of slopes due to calves pulling but then I lengthened my stride and she jogged beside me at my walking pace.

It was a lovely way to spend a Saturday morning, though I am glad it didn't rain :-) The course was amazing, the hills were generally ok (apart from the top of Carter Road) and the company was brilliant- thanks Hayley.

She now wants me to do the Onehunga half next weekend. It's flat but I will wait and see how the legs feel tomorrow. My aim this year has been the Waitakere Half in October so I will definitely be doing that one, now I am back on my feet so to speak.

It will be interesting to see if the cold bath I had when I got back will aid recovery. I am not convinced!

Monday, September 10, 2012

I did too much

Will I never learn?

We used to say that my dad had done too much when he had one of his not so good days. 9 times out of 10 he would have done too much the previous day, used too much energy, stayed up too late, done everything he could find to do.

Guess what I did yesterday. Got up (well that's not a great start for a Sunday), ran/jogged the Titirangi 10k route in preparation for next week's Lydiard half, did a bit of food shopping, made dinner (venison ragout in the crock pot), had lunch whilst helping child one revise for exams and child two find solutions to why he couldn't play/load World of Warcraft on his dad's old mac. I flipped out a bit then but thought that was just coz I was hungry.

Then I did laundry and laundry and laundry.

Then I decided I needed to get an embroidery swap piece out of the way so I sketched, transferred and stitched, then I blogged about it. All the time this was happening, tea was being made, son was being asked to do chores, daughter was being kept happy and calm and husband was being ignored as he was being no help what so ever. I asked him to peel the potatoes and he disappeared!!!

I ended up going to bed about midnight, having sorted more laundry and having tried to get the kids' uniforms dry for the following day.

I should have known!

I got up today and can hardly move-not from the exercise just from sheer lethargy. I had to get up as I had promised exam girl a decent 'cooked' breakfast. Unfortunately in order to do that I had to wash up the cooking pots that were left unwashed last night. I so need there to be a rule in  my house that the cook doesn't need to clean up afterwards. That actually might make the others in this house cook more!!!!

Hubby got a bit miffed when he asked if I wanted to run with him and I said no! Guilt trip!!!! Thankfully he was rung up for an extra's role so buggered off anyway so I could go and drink coffee and read the paper.

I was however so stressed about today's exam that I ended up cleaning out my daughter's swamp. I can finally see the floor and that weird smell has gone. What is it about teenagers??

So now I am tired. The exam allegedly did not go well so I am trying to support an emotional child whilst not biting hubby's head off. Sadly I can't help with her maths but...I can tidy her room and provide food :-) I am a good mom.

I am off to see my psych on Thursday so will have plenty to tell him, if I survive the next exam...
My little swap piece