Friday, November 27, 2009

We are very proud parents

12 months ago Caitlin competed for the title of Laingholm School Idol 2008.  

This year she returned as reigning champion. 

This is the latest performance.  

There were one or two sound issues but her professionalism shone through.

And well done to Jess ( this year's winner) and Chloe for stunning performances!

I am such a proud mom!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Oh, what a week!

Eventful and some!

The Laingholm Goddesses ( as we are now calling ourselves- or rather I am!) held a lunchtime gathering for Sian, our friend with the Big C. It was the most joyous occasion. A group of women brought together by their love for one person, many of whom knew each other a little through shared classes or through school but who laughed and cried together easily. Many of us hadn't seen Sian for a while so we were shocked by her appearance. So terribly thin, yet swollen by her illness. Caitlin has said, and bear in mind she is 11, that Sian has been many people since we have known her... Laura's mum, the student nurse, mommy's friend who asked for help on her Bipolar presentation and yet now she is something different. She IS her illness. We have all Facebooked more in the last week than the previous months, sharing jokes, congratulating others on courses passed, kids' successes, or just commenting on how lucky we are. The community has blossomed but how sad it is that this has to happen because of something so sad.

The next day, I held a little afternoon tea for my birthday. Many of the same people attended both events, though Dads and kids were only allowed to mine. I think there was a sense of relief, that we could talk freely and openly. There, again, was a lot of love in the house, and laughter and the noise of children. I don't think I ate anything and drank hardly anything- which is saying something as I only allow my self a drink on my birthday and Xmas  for reasons of sanity! My favourite people were there, they brought great food, the kindest presents and we had a lovely time. My mate Elaine remarked that I deserved it. Maybe I do. We have talked a lot recently about sharing the love, being positive and passionate about things. Getting there...

Anton allowed me a day's grace this year. We visited A&E on the day after my birthday this year. I have felt very angry with him for shutting me out, for not being there emotionally for me especially during the last two weeks. He can be so blinkered and so 'selfish' for want of a better word. I have tried talking to him, asking how he is, taking more of an interest in his day, his extras work etc but we have hardly seen him. A&E was the last straw. A silent trip there, a three hour wait ( for me as I wasn't allowed in with him) a silent trip back, no thanks just silence. He went to see the doctor today and told me nothing. I finally had to get through. He says he understands that he hasn't been good enough. I think it scared him that I said I was close to leaving because I had had no emotional support, or rather that my 11 year old daughter had provided me with comfort beyond her years ( but then she is 43!). Will it make a difference? For how long?

But life is too short not to enjoy.

Today was Laingholm school's athletics day. My springy boy came second in the high jump again. He can virtually jump over his height- almost! God knows how! He wrote his letter of application to be a school banker today. He so wants that job. Should get it.

Caitlin was awarded her bronze kauri award for all round excellence at school, two stars of each colour and two of any colour. She was hoping for that at the end of year 8. She has got it before the end of year 7! She is such a joy!

I got lots of comments on my hat today. It is decorated with three rainbow flowers which make people smile ( not tested but an official statement). There were lots of smiles today. Kids running makes people smile... and the person who comes last always gets the biggest cheers- WELL DONE TIM!

Our kitchen floor is going to look great. Howey is doing a great, and fast job!

I am reading Haruki Murakami's Things I think about when I am running- that's a joyous book.

The sun shone all day.

Molly. a flea ridden nightmare but I love her!

I am going to bed, happy.

I have a great life all told!

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Counting one's blessings

I received a lovely compliment today. Really made my day in fact. Graham and a student teacher took time out of their busy 'Green Gold" celebration day to discuss the fact I was wearing a skirt and shoes, rather than the clumpy boots I usually wear! So later that day I heard a few 'Great legs' comments. Yay for thin ankles I say!

Anyway made my day and I worried Graham greatly when I hugged him when he was on road patrol and said 'thanks' but didn't explain why!

Today is a day for saying thanks and counting one's blessings. The Laingholm community celebrate the school getting the Green Gold Award for its efforts in working with the environment. The Major, Bob Harvey was there and was as usual impressive. More so  because today he gave his majoral chain to an 8 year old boy to wear. It was this kid's birthday so it was a nice thought. However this kid lost his father about a fortnight ago, in a suicide. Bob spent a long time sitting with him, eating morning tea. It wa as though this kid was the only person in the world who mattered. It was beautiful and very moving.

I have spent time with other mums today too, talking about our dear friend Sian. People ( mums ) have rallied amazingly. In fact I felt a bit guilty for not having cooked or helped out practically, but then I have enough trouble cooking for my own kids ( and then they dont eat it). But today I sat and listened and made coffee and allowed my friends some time to talk. When I texted one later to say how amazing she has been, fielding everyone's questions and offers, she replied by thanking me for my help today. I was deeply touched.

The Laingholm mums are finding support in each other. Largely, we think because the Laingholm dads don't seem to be able to understand how we are feeling. One friend was talking about Sian buying 18th birthday presents for her kids and leaving them letters or memory boxes for the important points in their lives. I wonder sometimes if the men realise just how important we are to the lives of our kids and how they would cope if we weren't there to deal with stuff, big and small. I, for one am finding it difficult as my OH doesn't seem to get why I am so numb, or putting energy into supporting others. In fact there is not a lot of communication going on at all right now!

Hence the compliment came at just the right time

OK Gratitude list

Bob Harvey
"Great Legs"
fireworks at home
Caitlin wanting big bangs.
Caitlin doing a mime of Graham
Roo being 'FLASH" at kung fu
finding the right photo album for Alison
WW being free
supportive texts
Being there for someone
Marion for being excellent
Lunch- only a snack wrap but it was really nice!
Finding the right birthday present for Rachel

Sunday, November 01, 2009


Just heard startlingly differing news from two fronts

First, one of my best mates in the UK is pregnant, only 7 weeks from term in fact. She hadn't posted anything on facebook, photos of scans etc because she wanted to tell me 'in person' before I found out any other way. Bless her. I think I suspected when she sent the odd message saying we should skype, but I am not a big skype person, so sort of avoided the whole thing! Ah well, better go do some baby shopping. Another buzzy bee will be winging its way to the UK.

And then I get a message from a mate here to say that another mate has been in hospital and that inspite of  recovering from cancer a while back, the doctors have now found it in her stomach and some where else. I think I am too numb to remember. She has possibly weeks left. She has kids in the school years below mine, who are just gorgeous. She has been through so much, being a single mum and all, and now this. I just have to ask why?

Anton has gone to bed early as he has an early start on his film set. I need a hug but maybe not tonight.