Thursday, May 02, 2013

Hoping for a solution

Off to see my psych today, hoping I will remember everything I need to tell him in half an hour. As you can probably tell from the fact I haven't updated this for so long, I have been in a bipolar depression for quite some time. Some of it was circumstantial (lack of space over the summer possibly, stress of a new course) but no longer.

Currently I find myself sitting for hours at a time without realising what I am doing. It is taking a huge amount of effort to do just about anything. There's been no sewing this school holiday but definitely means something. I am tense all the time, like having a huge surge of adrenalin, though interestingly we went to Tree Adventures last week and, in spite of my fear of heights, I had no problem, no wobbly feelings at all.

I am just getting by, it seems. But that is not enough. I am missing the joyous side of my personality but am aware that anti depressants may not be a solution given the feelings of tension.

We shall see.