Friday, June 09, 2006

What a week

Where do I start? I have felt so rough this week that I didn't think I would survive!

Caitlin came home in tears,saying Mrs Moss has had a go at her, over her diary , or lack thereof. She apparantly had a go about the fact that C always loses things, never completes homework and thinks homework is beneath her because she is so good at school. I went in and burst into tears, and explained about mental health and how sometimes C can't concentrate on anything. Mrs Moss was very understanding; I guess she had to be with a tearful mother on her case.

Didn't exactly set me up for the day although school went very well. Iwas finally asked to cover year three, with a proviso that I can have my part time role back when Sara comes back from maternity leave...if she comes back.

Another rumour abounds that our favourite person has been suspended for 'hitting' a child. Is this the straw which breaks the camel's back.

Finally, Mrs Ferrie was in and asked me if I would take Year One next year. I nearly laughed in her face! She's a bit of a whirlwind, I'll say that for her!

Anton has asked to go out tomorrow and next weekend, inspite of a conversation about fairness. I am not happy!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Once again the depression descends. I am feeling unhappy, bloated, fat, unwanted, unable to do anything etc etc etc. See can't even finish a sentence!!

I feel I just can't cope with anything ( global statement) I have so many jobs to do that I get lost in deciding what to do first. I desperately want to go for a run but it is so hot that I think I'd collapse. But I need to do something.

I may have to start another blog to write down my eating habits as at the moment they are shit! Chocolate fixes and an inability to cook, or rather decide on what to cook. I feel I am letting me and my family down! I just want to curl up in a corner and go to sleep!
You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

Just felt like getting someone else to tell me something about myself!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


I suppose I only have myself to blame but I feel shit. It is exactly four days since my last alcoholic drink and yep my head is as far from being happy as it is possible to be.

I can't decide if this means I should give up drink completely or just have a little every night and ward off the mood swings that way. An interesting subject for testing I think!

Managed to get lots of washing done as well as completing the whole of our form teacher reports. I think my mood swing may well have affected one or two but I'm sure Aud will edit them well.

Having a blog is a useful way of noting successes... and not so good episodes. Must be therapeutic!

Ate far too much today, and watched myself do it. I would love to lose weight but I can't be bothered. A bit like running at present but I think both would be easier with support, but from whom???

Am feeling lost!

Monday, June 05, 2006

A baptism of fire

I played my first ever proper tennis match tonight.

I was shite. I had so many nerves and couldn't string any shots together!

At least I didn't get upset so I suppose that's a major step forward.


Holidays are all very well but the unpacking is a nightmare. Hubby didn't do any clearing up yesterday when I was off doing the results for the Garburn race. So there is sand everywhere, tonnes of washing to do, stuff all over the place and myhead slightly offthe lines.

That may have something to do with second child not being able to find his reading book this morning...I should know by now that it will be in school. I have got so much work to do, I've not started my reports yet (!) and if the house isn't just so I can't settle to do them.

Ah well the holiday was nice whilst it lasted!

Just trying to post a picture to the side bar

Sunday, June 04, 2006





The Eden Project

Happy Holidays

What a fabulous week! We've just come back from a glorious week in Cornwall, staying in a house two minutes from the beach and three minutes from 'Planet Ice', an addictive ice cream and coffee shop.

It was an interesting group of people. I wasn't sure it was going to work but we all had a good time. There were Paul and Roselle and their lovely kids, Frankie and Ciaran, Gordon and Heather and theirs, Laura(7) and Oliver (5) and the four of us. Finally Al came over to be our token singleton.

Frankie and Ciaran were only little so spent their time with their mum mostly, but the other kids got on really well, even Caitlin and Laura who were very similar personalities.

The weather was superb, two days of blustery wind and then SUNSHINE, SUNSHINE, SUNSHINE. The kids spent so long in the sea we had to get them wetsuits. In fact Roo only burnt on his hands and feet so he looks as though he has pink gloves and socks on. Needless to say I felt very guilty about the sunburn both on him and on Caitlin. Why don't fathers have such guilt trips?

We had a lovely day at the Eden project too. It was just the most amazing place, almost spiritual in its atmosphere

It's strange to be back with uni friends now we are growed ups. Especially seeing how people are with their children. We seem to come across as quite laid back parents. We praise our kids and hug them. They may be sensitive kids but they care about each other and share so well. Caitlin was 'a natural' at everything mostly cricket and bodyboarding. But are we doing it right? We did seem to be the least stressed!

I was amazed by the amount of alcohol and chocolate we got through. I did the recycling at the end of the week and there were so many cans. I made a conscious decision that I would allow myself to drink some. I only got 'drunk' on one night ( our night out with Paul and Roselle). It was very funny, I talked drivel but I didn't care. Seeing four o'clock in the morning was entertaining...going for a run at 8 was too. I had to mask the palpitations somehow!!!

Al had a hard time. She'd been involved in a car accident on her way down ( hitting a 90 year old who stepped out in front of her). She made it down on Monday night but was obviously very shaken and taking it very hard. It was the first time I'd been aware of how intense she can be especially when she's drunk. Shecould havedone with a longer chat with Ant but the others, mostly Paul seemed to take over. Who's the professional here?

Overall a brilliant week. I felt very relaxed and incontrol of me. I was aware I didn't make as much of an effort with the cooking, but I can do a mean washing up!

And it only took us 5 1/2 hours to get home! Excellent!