Monday, October 19, 2009

Feeling funky

What a few weeks we have had.

I don't know where to start but then since this is MY BLOG, not the family or the craft blog I can start and say what I want.

I AM EXHAUSTED! At first I thought it was because of the last five days. Having got a table at crafternoon tea, and realising I had nothing to sell, three very late nights ensued, creating 35 flowers! Then there was the actual euphoric event ( good adrenaline rush, your first actual selling fair), the anti climax of coming home to a preoccupied ( by cookies and new kitchen work surface) hubby who didn't remember why you were out for the day and only noticed that you had spent some of the profits on something he regarded as 'not necessary". I didn't appreciate having to explain that it is a thing of beauty- don't you think?- that craft fairs are about sharing the joy, oh and it was for my sewing room and is therefore essential! Oh and the lovely lady ( whose name I am desperate to remember) who made it spent at my stall too...

There is more to this exhaustion than meets the eye however. My joints are hurting, though the pain in my finger joints could be due to sewing flowers and stabbing myself with a seam ripper when helping Caitlin create a poster about the Travelling Pants out of a real pair of jeans!

I have a feeling there may be medical issues here. You see... and don't get mad... I  have sort of been reducing my meds. I have had a very ropey, zombied winter and had upped the meds to no avail. I had a few problems getting my stabiliser ( chemist low on stock) so reduced them and the anti depressants too. For the last month or so ( a while anyway ) I have been noticeably happier, healthier, more responsive. I am far more creative, less likely to spend hours on the internet and likely to be found in my room, making, doing, planning. Frankly I FEEL GREAT. There have been a few roller coaster rides along the way ( see above comments about hubby) but I have been coping. No better than that, I have been living!

This physical lethargy could be to do with that so I am keeping an eye on it. So for all those concerned people, don't fret. The family are good at checking my well being, though if Anton asks me once more how my head is, instead of how I am I think I shall scream. I am a person and my head is attached to me. Also I think I'm doing a good job of channelling my head right now...

Basically I wanted to report in on how I am doing when I wasn't off on one. I know I am still uptight about hubby, but I think we have a different way of looking at the world which has been developing. SOme mates remarked yesterday that he brings everything back to money, rather than enjoying something for what it is. Our kitchen is now beautiful but he will only talk about how much it cost and how much extra a certain bit was...

I do try to share my new joy with him, but it is difficult! Suppose I must try harder! He is off on the jet ski now, having a day off which can only be a good thing!

Right, dog needs a walk, and that means I can keep an eye on the water sports.

Lots of love