Friday, November 27, 2009

We are very proud parents

12 months ago Caitlin competed for the title of Laingholm School Idol 2008.  


This year she returned as reigning champion. 


This is the latest performance.  


There were one or two sound issues but her professionalism shone through.


And well done to Jess ( this year's winner) and Chloe for stunning performances!










I am such a proud mom!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Oh, what a week!

Eventful and some!

The Laingholm Goddesses ( as we are now calling ourselves- or rather I am!) held a lunchtime gathering for Sian, our friend with the Big C. It was the most joyous occasion. A group of women brought together by their love for one person, many of whom knew each other a little through shared classes or through school but who laughed and cried together easily. Many of us hadn't seen Sian for a while so we were shocked by her appearance. So terribly thin, yet swollen by her illness. Caitlin has said, and bear in mind she is 11, that Sian has been many people since we have known her... Laura's mum, the student nurse, mommy's friend who asked for help on her Bipolar presentation and yet now she is something different. She IS her illness. We have all Facebooked more in the last week than the previous months, sharing jokes, congratulating others on courses passed, kids' successes, or just commenting on how lucky we are. The community has blossomed but how sad it is that this has to happen because of something so sad.

The next day, I held a little afternoon tea for my birthday. Many of the same people attended both events, though Dads and kids were only allowed to mine. I think there was a sense of relief, that we could talk freely and openly. There, again, was a lot of love in the house, and laughter and the noise of children. I don't think I ate anything and drank hardly anything- which is saying something as I only allow my self a drink on my birthday and Xmas  for reasons of sanity! My favourite people were there, they brought great food, the kindest presents and we had a lovely time. My mate Elaine remarked that I deserved it. Maybe I do. We have talked a lot recently about sharing the love, being positive and passionate about things. Getting there...

Anton allowed me a day's grace this year. We visited A&E on the day after my birthday this year. I have felt very angry with him for shutting me out, for not being there emotionally for me especially during the last two weeks. He can be so blinkered and so 'selfish' for want of a better word. I have tried talking to him, asking how he is, taking more of an interest in his day, his extras work etc but we have hardly seen him. A&E was the last straw. A silent trip there, a three hour wait ( for me as I wasn't allowed in with him) a silent trip back, no thanks just silence. He went to see the doctor today and told me nothing. I finally had to get through. He says he understands that he hasn't been good enough. I think it scared him that I said I was close to leaving because I had had no emotional support, or rather that my 11 year old daughter had provided me with comfort beyond her years ( but then she is 43!). Will it make a difference? For how long?

But life is too short not to enjoy.

Today was Laingholm school's athletics day. My springy boy came second in the high jump again. He can virtually jump over his height- almost! God knows how! He wrote his letter of application to be a school banker today. He so wants that job. Should get it.

Caitlin was awarded her bronze kauri award for all round excellence at school, two stars of each colour and two of any colour. She was hoping for that at the end of year 8. She has got it before the end of year 7! She is such a joy!

I got lots of comments on my hat today. It is decorated with three rainbow flowers which make people smile ( not tested but an official statement). There were lots of smiles today. Kids running makes people smile... and the person who comes last always gets the biggest cheers- WELL DONE TIM!

Our kitchen floor is going to look great. Howey is doing a great, and fast job!

I am reading Haruki Murakami's Things I think about when I am running- that's a joyous book.

The sun shone all day.

Molly. a flea ridden nightmare but I love her!

I am going to bed, happy.

I have a great life all told!

Thursday, November 05, 2009


Counting one's blessings

I received a lovely compliment today. Really made my day in fact. Graham and a student teacher took time out of their busy 'Green Gold" celebration day to discuss the fact I was wearing a skirt and shoes, rather than the clumpy boots I usually wear! So later that day I heard a few 'Great legs' comments. Yay for thin ankles I say!

Anyway made my day and I worried Graham greatly when I hugged him when he was on road patrol and said 'thanks' but didn't explain why!

Today is a day for saying thanks and counting one's blessings. The Laingholm community celebrate the school getting the Green Gold Award for its efforts in working with the environment. The Major, Bob Harvey was there and was as usual impressive. More so  because today he gave his majoral chain to an 8 year old boy to wear. It was this kid's birthday so it was a nice thought. However this kid lost his father about a fortnight ago, in a suicide. Bob spent a long time sitting with him, eating morning tea. It wa as though this kid was the only person in the world who mattered. It was beautiful and very moving.

I have spent time with other mums today too, talking about our dear friend Sian. People ( mums ) have rallied amazingly. In fact I felt a bit guilty for not having cooked or helped out practically, but then I have enough trouble cooking for my own kids ( and then they dont eat it). But today I sat and listened and made coffee and allowed my friends some time to talk. When I texted one later to say how amazing she has been, fielding everyone's questions and offers, she replied by thanking me for my help today. I was deeply touched.

The Laingholm mums are finding support in each other. Largely, we think because the Laingholm dads don't seem to be able to understand how we are feeling. One friend was talking about Sian buying 18th birthday presents for her kids and leaving them letters or memory boxes for the important points in their lives. I wonder sometimes if the men realise just how important we are to the lives of our kids and how they would cope if we weren't there to deal with stuff, big and small. I, for one am finding it difficult as my OH doesn't seem to get why I am so numb, or putting energy into supporting others. In fact there is not a lot of communication going on at all right now!

Hence the compliment came at just the right time

OK Gratitude list

Bob Harvey
"Great Legs"
fireworks at home
Caitlin wanting big bangs.
Caitlin doing a mime of Graham
Roo being 'FLASH" at kung fu
finding the right photo album for Alison
WW being free
supportive texts
Being there for someone
Marion for being excellent
Lunch- only a snack wrap but it was really nice!
Finding the right birthday present for Rachel

Sunday, November 01, 2009

News

Just heard startlingly differing news from two fronts

First, one of my best mates in the UK is pregnant, only 7 weeks from term in fact. She hadn't posted anything on facebook, photos of scans etc because she wanted to tell me 'in person' before I found out any other way. Bless her. I think I suspected when she sent the odd message saying we should skype, but I am not a big skype person, so sort of avoided the whole thing! Ah well, better go do some baby shopping. Another buzzy bee will be winging its way to the UK.

And then I get a message from a mate here to say that another mate has been in hospital and that inspite of  recovering from cancer a while back, the doctors have now found it in her stomach and some where else. I think I am too numb to remember. She has possibly weeks left. She has kids in the school years below mine, who are just gorgeous. She has been through so much, being a single mum and all, and now this. I just have to ask why?

Anton has gone to bed early as he has an early start on his film set. I need a hug but maybe not tonight.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Meltdown abated,



I promised a photo of Caitlin's poster of "The Travelling Pants'. Unfortunately she had finished it and wrapped it in glad wrap to protect it from the weather when she took it to school, so this is the best I can do.
It has notes in four pockets- two of them stuck on with glue around the knees, a felt patch and a cutout, both of which lift to reveal the writing beneath. She is so proud of it. She loves doing documentaries and presentations but this is completely different for her. Very creative, she even did the sewing herself!

I am a proud mom

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

After minor meltdown...

So I continue my week of blogging successfully...
Usually I only blog when I am in a certain mood... and this week seems no different. Since lunchtime I have felt flushed and I have been eating continuously- not good with weigh in tomorrow. I was headed for a free Weightwatchers meeting Ah well!

Played tennis with hubby this a.m., in spite of the fact I desperately wanted to craft.  Had my arm twisted. Played reasonably well considering my arm was hurting ( not because it was twisted but because the dog pulls and I think I have strained something), placed the ball nicely and didn't run much, unlike hubby!

So up till lunchtime, life was good.

I did manage to make a cuff but took three goes to get the elastic in. Kept putting the loop in the wrong place in the fabric sandwich.
Started to make a new hug but again things were not going well. I think she'll be OK but will not get finished till tomorrow. Discovered that so far my hugs are all left handed. Not sure what that means, though Roo is a lefty!

After school, watched Roo's t ball practice and then helped Caitlin with her homework. Who else would decide to do a character study, six adjectives and their associated quotes on a pair of jeans- I mean physically on a pair of jeans. The adjectives are on the pockets and the quotes inside. Well it is about Carmen from the Travelling Pants so I suppose it works... and I did get her to embroider most of it herself- I will put a photo on so I don't sound completely mad, at some point.

Meltdown was over a missing CD case. Trivial as usual, but desperately overwhelming. As usual everything became global, as everything would. The house was a tip, my room was a mess, i can't find ANYTHING!!!! Why do people in this house not help? If I want to do more creative stuff then how will I cope with the house? I can't cope with anything etc etc etc. Anyway you get the picture.Luckily I am OK now. Case found, though only after the gazebo was taken back to Debs and I could get into the back of the car.

It has been cathartic writing tonight, like I can put to rest the trauma. As a result of the adrenalin produced, the stack of rubbish is no longer in the hall, there are no longer excessive numbers of cups and plates around the place and the clean washing is at least in the rooms it belongs in, if not exactly put away.

Strangely I still think I am doing the right thing with the meds. I had registered earlier that something was coming and the disc case was merely the final trigger. It could have been anything.

Today's gratitude-
1. Playing tennis with Ant
2. Playing tennis well
3. Paddling in the sea at Armour Bay
4. Molly bounding through the waves
5. Making a cuff- finally
6. Watching 'Closer' all the way through- is it a bad thing to fancy "Larry"? Clive Owen is gorgeous but this character is so sleazy, yet somehow honest... hm?
7. Beginning a hug
8. Ant got the returning visitors' visas at last
9. Getting a new fridge- should I worry that he is spending a lot of money?
10. My kids
11. Roo reciting lines from the book he is reading- unfortunately it's Cows in Action
12. Caitlin sewing
13. The kids understanding that I was 'Off' and backing away to keep safe
14. Molly and Teddy knowing that I need a 'hug'
15. Reuben's hair
16. Getting post 'The book of pages' and 'Healthy Hair treatment' from Chawtons
17. Making lighter than air banana bread
18. writing down the train of thought and being aware of how I was thinking earlier.
19. The sun shining
20. Elaine telling me I looked fabulous and thin!!!!!
21. Getting nice email from Trish
22. Being able to give Danni a lift when her car broke
23. ...

I think i can stop now even though there are doubtless other things. I really need to go and turn the iron off!!!! Don't want to burn the house down. That would go against the mood I am trying to be in!

Night!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Gotta love some people




Just received the 'Book of Pages' in the post, having had it recommended. 




Looking at my 'inspired' first ever self designed embroidery...



Adding the song beneath to my Damian Rice, Jeff Buckley, Kate Walsh play list,









Like I said, gotta love some people!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Feeling funky

What a few weeks we have had.

I don't know where to start but then since this is MY BLOG, not the family or the craft blog I can start and say what I want.

I AM EXHAUSTED! At first I thought it was because of the last five days. Having got a table at crafternoon tea, and realising I had nothing to sell, three very late nights ensued, creating 35 flowers! Then there was the actual euphoric event ( good adrenaline rush, your first actual selling fair), the anti climax of coming home to a preoccupied ( by cookies and new kitchen work surface) hubby who didn't remember why you were out for the day and only noticed that you had spent some of the profits on something he regarded as 'not necessary". I didn't appreciate having to explain that it is a thing of beauty- don't you think?- that craft fairs are about sharing the joy, oh and it was for my sewing room and is therefore essential! Oh and the lovely lady ( whose name I am desperate to remember) who made it spent at my stall too...



There is more to this exhaustion than meets the eye however. My joints are hurting, though the pain in my finger joints could be due to sewing flowers and stabbing myself with a seam ripper when helping Caitlin create a poster about the Travelling Pants out of a real pair of jeans!

I have a feeling there may be medical issues here. You see... and don't get mad... I  have sort of been reducing my meds. I have had a very ropey, zombied winter and had upped the meds to no avail. I had a few problems getting my stabiliser ( chemist low on stock) so reduced them and the anti depressants too. For the last month or so ( a while anyway ) I have been noticeably happier, healthier, more responsive. I am far more creative, less likely to spend hours on the internet and likely to be found in my room, making, doing, planning. Frankly I FEEL GREAT. There have been a few roller coaster rides along the way ( see above comments about hubby) but I have been coping. No better than that, I have been living!

This physical lethargy could be to do with that so I am keeping an eye on it. So for all those concerned people, don't fret. The family are good at checking my well being, though if Anton asks me once more how my head is, instead of how I am I think I shall scream. I am a person and my head is attached to me. Also I think I'm doing a good job of channelling my head right now...

Basically I wanted to report in on how I am doing when I wasn't off on one. I know I am still uptight about hubby, but I think we have a different way of looking at the world which has been developing. SOme mates remarked yesterday that he brings everything back to money, rather than enjoying something for what it is. Our kitchen is now beautiful but he will only talk about how much it cost and how much extra a certain bit was...

I do try to share my new joy with him, but it is difficult! Suppose I must try harder! He is off on the jet ski now, having a day off which can only be a good thing!

Right, dog needs a walk, and that means I can keep an eye on the water sports.

Lots of love




Wednesday, October 14, 2009

In case you are wondering what I am up to...

In case you were wondering what I'm up to, I have a new blog, a new brand and a new enterprise. This is the latest posting but if you click on the title of this post it will take you to the new blog.





I am one lucky lady. I have an amazing husband, fabulous and talented kids, supportive friends ( both old and new) and look at this for a 'glamourous mum in law'











Caitlin and I are off to Crafternoon tea, on Saturday and these photos are going to be part of our display. It is our first ever craft fair ( I didn't get a table at Kraftbomb) and it is the first ever Crafternoon tea. Should be very exciting!



I am working today ( I'm a relief teacher at my son's school) but I would really rather be making flowers. I made 10 camellias last night including a black experimental one. So today will be cartoon flowers and new pansies ( oh and nagging Caitlin to make some of hers!

Busy, busy,busy!


Hugs!

Friday, September 04, 2009

Same post as on the family blog

WARNING> This post appears on the family blog. I have not gone mad ( yet) though Spring is proving very very difficult. I know some people read both blogs- sorry. I know some people only read this one. In which case, please do read between the lines, yes I have been feeling awful and no it hasn't stopped yet. Still feeling very negative but totally aware of feeling this way which makes it worse. When someone says anything I see it as a criticism of me. All that comes into my head are negative comments bout me and other people. Deep down I have been trying to stay away from people to limit damage but I am not sure it is working... WELL YOU WERE WARNED



I have not had a terribly good time of it lately, moodwise, so the blog gets rather neglected. Ihave tried to update a few times but then Blogger has been annoying so no joy. Here is the post I was supposed to post last weekend!

Wow! Am I glad this week is over! I didn't intend for it to be so full on but..

Saturday went to Cirque du Soleil performing Dralion which was AMAZING! Sort of beyond describing really. There are no superlatives worthy of being mentioned in the same country as the performers- just WOW!

Mind you I knew my head was off as by the end of the second half I was having trouble concentrating, almost as though I wasn't physically there. Sounds odd but then that is the week I have had ( and am still having)

Sunday Ant went off to do some advert or other, I was up all night with an upset stomach ( not mine!) and then we went to play community netball in Parau. As expected the primary age kids ran rings round us adults but it was a good laugh.

Monday- final netball coaching with a bunch of ungrateful pre teens. I wish I hadn't bothered making cookies and cake. AH well know better for next year

Tuesday- Oh god. Interview time for the Japan/ Korea trip. Of course Caitlin though it went badly. How was she to know that sign language is different the world over? The OK sign here means do you have a boyfriend? I think in Korea!

Results of that on Monday 31st

Tuesday was also the first performance of the Bay Music festival. BBI and assorted local primaries got together and sang, lots. C was stressed as the rock band trio were soloists in their school's individual item. They were , of course, fab.


Wednesday also saw a performance of the Bay Festival, oh and the table tennis team trials, which C had been pestering Mr Hill ( one of the Korea interviewing panel) about. Needless to say, she made the team beating a couple of year 8's 12-10 and 11-2

Wednesday was also the day I took the car to have its cam belt done, spent the day racing from Henderson to BBI to New Lynn and back to Henderson all in the search for photo frames of a particular size!

Thursday- the day of the mental meltdown. Managed to leave my camera in the loan car which started it all.

Friday- takes a breath! Barbara sent me the 'Secret life of bees' and I sat on the beach reading in the sun, then picked up my camera when I did the school run.






So then this week was fairly uneventful by comparison...

Not only did Caitlin get chosen to go on the Korea trip, but so did her mates Ruby and Claudia, from Laingholm. We are mighty proud. I was so convinced she would do it that I had already bought the Korean phrase book the morning before she heard!

Today we hear that she has achieved her bronze kauri award for receiving two red, green, blue and yellow stars ( and two extras). This is a BIG deal for a year 7. Most year 8's are hoping to get theirs before they leave!

I had to take the car in again as there was an oil leak, which they admitted was their fault- an improvement on the last time I too it in and they charged us twice.

Anton is feeling flush as our tax bill is relatively small so he is arranging to get the kitchen sorted ( new benchtop, cooker, floor), the gutters fixed, the drive done and who knows what else. He has just got his computer updated- new hard drive, ram and battery and is taking us to Rotorua for the weekend. I think this is as a direct response to a mate taking his wife to Hawaii for her 40th birthday. CARPE DIEM!!!!

Reuben has finished his latest wall chart and is very very proud of it, oh and is still rehearsing hard for the semi final of Idol on Monday




And did you ever think you would see this...



Isn't he gorgeous in his new hat?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Capitalism has hit Parau!

Caitlin has begun her quest for world domination! She is trying to earn some money towards a possible trip to Korea next year. We have said if she can earn some of the cost ( and that doesn't mean going begging to grandparents) we will help her out.



(JUST NEED TO QUALIFY THAT LAST POINT BEFORE C HITS ME- SHE MAY WELL BE ASKING GRANDPARENTS ETC TO SEND HER MONEY IN LIEU OF XMAS PRESSIES IN ORDER TO HELP HER REACH HER GOAL. IS THAT-ouch- OK, CAITLIN?)




With this in mind, we have set up a stall on a website called Etsy.

Caitlin has made some felt flower badges which she is selling. She has made them all herself, from cutting the felt to sewing the button and the pin in place

It's really my site so my stuff is on there too.


There is an icon on the right hand side of this blog which will take you directly to our page!

There may be family and friends' discounts but I wouldn't bank on it!

Come on over and have a look. You might find something you like!








Can you tell whose is whose?

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Having a bad day, hence the update

Anton has bought a time capsule for his mac as he thought he had lost his computer and all its work a few weeks ago. As a result of trying to install it, he has f&*ked up the settings on my mac so I can't get on the Internet at home. So I am sitting on the floor outside room 17 at Laingholm, with the kids walking the dog round the field, surfing using the school internet. Subsequently I am not able to go on Facebook to update anything. It is blocked at school!

So a quick update on life in NZ


Roo has made the gym team for the second year running! He is more impressed by the fact he has finished Age of Mythology however! The whole family is impressed with the first piece of news. He has finished the cue cards for his presentation at school too. He is a bright little cookie and I am very very proud of him. Oh he gives good cuddles too!

Caitlin...

has unofficially earned her kauri award, which is exceptionally rare ( like never ever done before by a year 7 in the first half of the year). I had a long conversation with her head teacher at book day yesterday who was impressed by her competitive spirit and determination. He is sure she WILL be going to Korea next year!

went to character day as Hercules Poirot- pictures to follow with an internet connection at home! And got a yellow star.

is working on Trash to Flash ( in my sewing room with some friends today... must go and clear the floor!)

Is hormonal but we don't like to talk about it!

Is going to present her Suffragette video to a group of teachers ( and get a green star for her trouble)

Is dragging members of the family to another weeding day ( dad's turn) for half a green star- can you see a pattern emerging here?

Went on a trip to Tree Adventures and challenged herself 20 metres up in the air( and so did her mum!)

I am sure there is lots more but my fingers are getting tired..


Anton...

is pfaffing with the computers and Jo is about to kill him if her computer doesn't start to work soon

Is working for the Dept of Corrections as a consultant on three times the pay of his last job

is still at Serenity which is reopenning soon

is working with Simon on editing and designing books ( Simon is a graphic designer)

is thinking of investing in property with some other friends


Jo is not having a good day.

Sewing is going well but can't upload pictures coz of the internet ( though I might be able to put some of the pictures on here)

Has applied for a job at Woodlands Park school ( but they want Maths and Music and I offered them IT and Science and Soft Materials)

was asked by the head of BBI to put her name on the relief list.

Is being hormonal too

Has been running well in the 10kms and is thinking of doing the half marathon in July (In my opinion she is incredible.From Caitlin)


Loves her kids to bits


Needs to blog when she is feeling better!


It's been a busy week and everyone is suffering I think. Hopefully photos to follow






Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Busy Day

We are all lying somewhere chilling or sleeping. It has been a long day!

The kids and I were up at 6.30 so I could get to my Run Auckland 10k in Remuera. It was a very small event with a lot of people. I guess I am used to events like the Garburn which are like carnivals of running. This was a start line and a few tables! There were over 1000 entrants and most seemed to be doing the 10K. It was a cool route, two laps of the Waiatarua reserve, a few undulations and some ok scenery.

Then the kids and I went off to a planting day at BBI, planting tonnes of plants and weeding. All this just so Caitlin earns half a green star!

Then food shopping.

Then cooking dinner!

Caitlin is working on a big project on the suffragettes, and procrastinating!

Anton spent the day being in a traffic jam and eating cold soup for a commercial.

All go at the Ashcrofts!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Been Down

Hey peeps,

Been very down for the last three weeks. It all began with a glass of wine and a comment. It wasn't a particularly upsetting comment. I pointed out that the only thing I expect my OH to do is empty the bins once a week and how annoying it is to have to remind him EVERY WEEK! A discussion ensued about expectations and sure enough, it got a bit heated. Luckily we were at a friend's house so it didn't come to blows.

Fast forward three days. The alcohol affected my brain chemistry as it used to. Major down occurred, at the same time as the sudden lack of communication between husband and wife. This lasted about two weeks, interrupted by other arguments about who should take responsibility for certain jobs when at home. Is it possible for a person working at home to take half an hour off so they can pick up kids whilst the other person is attending a meeting abut IT at the school she'd like to work in? Possibly not! I hear the meeting was a good one!

I am still low and now in pain from my stress response tummy ache, which will pass if I remember to breathe. My sewing is going well. Indeed the flickr group I belong to has had some very positive posts! You can find my pictures here and take a look at the groups too. They are here, here, here and here. ( Or they will be when I can get the links to work- ah the joys of NZ broadband!)



I am running a 10k tomorrow. I seem to have forgotten to train...Ah well, a nice walk!!!

T ball awaits