Coolness

Hm maybe I have achieved something

Busy Day

We are all lying somewhere chilling or sleeping. It has been a long day!

The kids and I were up at 6.30 so I could get to my Run Auckland 10k in Remuera. It was a very small event with a lot of people. I guess I am used to events like the Garburn which are like carnivals of running. This was a start line and a few tables! There were over 1000 entrants and most seemed to be doing the 10K. It was a cool route, two laps of the Waiatarua reserve, a few undulations and some ok scenery.

Then the kids and I went off to a planting day at BBI, planting tonnes of plants and weeding. All this just so Caitlin earns half a green star!

Then food shopping.

Then cooking dinner!

Caitlin is working on a big project on the suffragettes, and procrastinating!

Anton spent the day being in a traffic jam and eating cold soup for a commercial.

All go at the Ashcrofts!

Been Down

Hey peeps,

Been very down for the last three weeks. It all began with a glass of wine and a comment. It wasn't a particularly upsetting comment. I pointed out that the only thing I expect my OH to do is empty the bins once a week and how annoying it is to have to remind him EVERY WEEK! A discussion ensued about expectations and sure enough, it got a bit heated. Luckily we were at a friend's house so it didn't come to blows.

Fast forward three days. The alcohol affected my brain chemistry as it used to. Major down occurred, at the same time as the sudden lack of communication between husband and wife. This lasted about two weeks, interrupted by other arguments about who should take responsibility for certain jobs when at home. Is it possible for a person working at home to take half an hour off so they can pick up kids whilst the other person is attending a meeting abut IT at the school she'd like to work in? Possibly not! I hear the meeting was a good one!

I am still low and now in pain from my stress response tummy ache, which will pass if I remember to breathe. My sewing is going well. Indeed the flickr group I belong to has had some very positive posts! You can find my pictures here and take a look at the groups too. They are here, here, here and here. ( Or they will be when I can get the links to work- ah the joys of NZ broadband!)



I am running a 10k tomorrow. I seem to have forgotten to train...Ah well, a nice walk!!!

T ball awaits

In awe

Welcome to my world

This is my most recently completed piece. I can definitely say it has kept me stable over the last week, giving me a focus. I am pleased with the resulting picture. The photo does not give quite the right perspective. I shall try experimenting to get the photography right.

From sewing 2009

From sewing 2009

A post from turningturning.com, which appealed to me

Think less. Do more.





A recent idea for a project was going to require some problem-solving.

Things in my life this week feel extraordinarily complicated. Craziness is firing on all cylinders, and much of my free time has been drowned away in worry and doubt.

Resolving the project was going to push me beyond my current skill set. It was going to lead me out of my comfort zone and force me to take a hard look at my mistakes.

Originally, I tried to solve the problem the way I always do — by thinking, plotting, and obsessing over it.



Obsessing, though it is my preferred mode, is not always the best way to solve problems. Even cognitive ones.

Sometimes, taking a breath and getting to work is the only thing to do.



I needed this reminder — to stand still and tackle one hurdle at a time. To slow down and peacefully experiment. To stop rushing and obsessing and pushing. To take action, but calmly. To give myself permission to fail, but insist on trying anyway.

Think less. Do more.

Pause for thought!

When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Spend some time alone every day.
Live a good, honourable life.
Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
Learn the rules, so you know how to break them properly.
Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Be gentle with the Earth.
Remember the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

Must go and find something purple and a red hat... feeling old today

Perfume, the movie

OK I know I said I wasn't going to watch it, but on advisement I decided to give it a chance ( Thanks Andy)

I was very pleasantly surprised. I still think that Grenouille should be more grotesque but the lead actor was still incredibly disturbing. You could almost sense his detachment from the world.

The film was beautifully lit. The light shining in Grenouille's eyes was wonderful and a superb tool to show how he was able to hide. It was interesting, too, to see such a faithful adaptation of the book. In fact Anton has wondered where he can get extras work like that!!!!

The lesser roles were just as powerful. I loved Dustin Hoffman as the perfumier, once I had got over the fact that it was him, and Alan Rickman was perfect as Richis. And as usual the juxtaposition of tragedy and comedy was just right ( a cliche from A level English days) especially when each of his employers comes to a sticky end.

I should not be so fast to reject modern cinema. I have felt myself dumbing down lately though this has now been tempered by cryptic crosswords and listening to Woman's hour. My next home cinematic experience is the Pianist. Anton couldn't understand why I hadn't seen it until I explained this wasn't the PIANO, but the PIANIST!

Watch this space

Perfume and Kafka

Anton has finally finished reading "Kafka on the Shore' and found it as gripping and surreal as I did. Neither of us could put it down. It is one of the few books that we can discuss easily as it works on so many levels, and generally is very strange but compelling.

I've just finished 'Perfume'. I had wanted to see the film for a while but I am not sure I will bother now. Don't get me wrong I loved the book, but I can see how badly this could be Hollywoodised, especially as I already know that Grenouille in the film is far more attractive than he is described. I really enjoyed the fact that there were no heroes in this, just people trying to buck the system, to make easy money or just to survive. No one came out of it smelling of roses(!), and even the smallest characters had defining characteristics and flaws.

Unless by Carol Shields next, if I ever get my sewing projects finished

Twilight update

Having said that the Twilight series was a good introduction for young teenage girls to the challenge of romance, the fourth book has changed my mind somewhat. From chaste cuddles and stolen, breath taking kisses, the plot has developed into marriage, honeymoon and pregnancy ( with devil foetus) with some haste. Now the consummation is handled in a very vague fashion. Just like the old Mills and Boon epics of my youth, the door closes on the briefest of embraces, then our heroine wakes up to discover she is covered in bruises from the vampirical super strength of her husband.

I do approve of the fact that Bella, up until the pregnancy, was beginning to reconsider her desire to be a vampire and contemplating the human rites of passage she would miss if she changed. And I am enjoying the new narrative voice. LIstening to Jacob and his take on affairs is definitely preferable to the whimperings of Bella.

Twilight

Caitlin forced me to take a quiz on the film 'Twilight' this afternoon, out of her teenager magazine. I would have done anything to cheer her up as she was less than happy about her latest haircut. Turns out I know quite a lot about the Cullens and Quileute. Probably helps that I am in the middle of the fourth book. I got A+ and would have got full marks if only I knew about the music in the film. Well I knew about Debussy's Clair du Lune but not the modern stuff!

This series really is a phenomenon, almost as big as Harry Potter, and it has certainly gripped the teenage girl demographic. Caitlin and her friends are lapping it up, though my feeling is they have little understanding of the nuances of the story. The fourth book involves the wedding, honeymoon, pregnancy and doubtless 'death' of the heroine. Whilst there are no graphic details, I am not at all sure this is what my 11 year old should be reading!

It does make a change from all the stereotypical vampire and werewolf stories. Sparkly vampires and loyal werewolves are a completely new genre, even taking Buffy and Angel into the equation. The teenage angst of new school, new friends, hormones, love and the complication of relationships is handled in an accessible way, making it not unlike Buffy in its tone. That's probably why is appeals to this age group. It is very easy to read, or should I say gloss over !

I was pleasantly surprised at the cinema adaptation. It was incredibly true to the book; I suppose it had to be or there would have been hormonal complaints all over the place! There are some truly gorgeous people in the film, Edward, Jacob and Alice in particular. I have to pretend to prefer the older vampire 'Carlisle' although I think the werewolf will ultimately be the favourite.

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Marilyn!

You are a Marilyn -- "I am affectionate and skeptical."

Marilyns are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Their personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Be direct and clear


• * Listen to me carefully


• * Don't judge me for my anxiety


• * Work things through with me


• * Reassure me that everything is OK between us


• * Laugh and make jokes with me


• * Gently push me toward new experiences


• * Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

What I Like About Being a Marilyn

• * being committed and faithful to family and friends


• * being responsible and hardworking


• * being compassionate toward others


• * having intellect and wit


• * being a nonconformist


• * confronting danger bravely


• * being direct and assertive

What's Hard About Being a Marilyn

• * the constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind


• * procrastinating because of fear of failure; having little confidence in myself


• * fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of


• * exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger


• * wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right


• * being too critical of myself when I haven't lived up to my expectations

Marilyns as Children Often

• * are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn


• * are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger


• * form a team of "us against them" with a best friend or parent


• * look to groups or authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel


• * are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Marilyns as Parents

• * are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty


• * are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence


• * worry more than most that their children will get hurt


• * sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Better?

Anton seems to be improving. He is happier and more relaxed in himself, is talking again about business ideas and is hardly talking to me apart from to complain that I buy too many coffees- inspite of the fact I went out for coffee once this week, with Marion from WW and spent a whole $6.50.

We went to the Sea food festival in Auckland yesterday because the kids were with Donna and we had to take the heart monitor back. Lots of mussels, oysters ( for the first time), champagne, salmon, clams. A cool event though I thought a bit expensive. Some decent music too. Heard a band called the Manukau project or something, very moroccan influenced! Must look them up online. Bet they are on myspace.

Ant was happy to spend nearly $100 there, as he saw it as something special, ie if I have coffee with him that is fine, on my own it isn't! Hmmmm

Roo seems very worried at the moment. He is very clingy, needs constant reassurance, lots of mommy time- with blocks of course. He even said he wanted to give up gym so that he could be with the family more. We disagreed and I offered to stay with him for the sessions so he felt better. This is the first time I have seen him really affected by Ant's situation. Maybe it has to do with Caitlin going to the big school and leaving him alone!

Short thoughts on books.

I loved Murakami's books. After Dark was simply delightful, beautifully written ( and translated) with sympathetic characters in an unusual environment. Kafka on the Shore was completely addictive, totally surreal and yet everything made sense. No matter how weird the events became, the characters remained true and thoughtful. I loved the way the story of the two main characters came together, merging the two journeys at a single point. I also loved the fact that the characters also took everything at face value, even the truck driver ( sorry no good with japanese names) who watched and participated in the weirdness from a slight distance.

Currently reading "New Moon'. Twilight was lovely and I am surprised by how well it was adapted for the screen. Not sure where the next one is going. Doesn't matter really as it is a light read, a rest from the more complicated novels I have read of late!

I have a

Cold

Another morning

And so another morning dawns, bright, sunny, hot.

I got up, emptied the dishwasher, fetched the paper, put the washing on and out, watered the plants with a little help from one of my little friends ( begins with R and ends in euben), had a shower, did a poo run ( in the garden picking up a couple of days worth) and then asked the immortal question 'How are you?" to two members of the family. One miserable face complained about her sunburn. She has very red shoulders but was told to apply cream before she left home and to reapply regularly, and another mum was in charge. Ah another day of misery guts. At least the cold and the tonsillitis are over!

The other one is monosyllabic, tense, pale and unaware that anyone exists apart from himself. He even spoke to his dad on skype and failed to mention me though he did get round to saying the kids are fine -yeah right they are both coping, just- and asking about his brother. I am getting to feel as though I don't matter, except to keep the house running, just, and to make sure food is on the table, providing I do it cheaply of course.

And then there is my duck murdering, oh and thrush murdering, dog. She and I have fallen out BIG TIME.

Needless to say taking her for a walk will calm me down and get me out of the house, though i will need to take the kids in case Ant decides to take himself to A&E! A good idea since I have a feeling the meltdown I have been expecting will happen very very soon.

New Year Resolve?

I have just returned from a seven a side football match, a successful one, played in glorious sunshine at seven o'clock in the evening. If there was a place to ride out the economic storm then surely it must be here. I am not saying life is easy, far from it, but the opportunities, the friendship, the support and the generosity of others make this a most beautiful country.

I don't really make resolutions, largely because it depends on which version of me makes them as to whether they last. I resolved last September to lose weight and I have been successful. I have resolved to start running again and, although it is proving tricky what with the kids being home and Ant either working or being ill, I have made a start. There is a pipeline path, virtually flat, which is 6.4km. Molly and I ran it in 50 minutes. I want to try it without her but she is reasonable company. I have entered a series of 10k runs, in the Auckland Series, as an incentive. I realise I need to be fit in order to cope with whatever life throws at me. Who knows what this year will bring.

We are all extremely worried about Anton. Right now he is experiencing palpitations every three or four minutes. He feels spaced and tense. He is going to see a cardiologist on Monday but has already said he feels he needs to go to A&E if only to sit and feel safe. It is affecting all of us hugely. Caitlin has been feeling as though she has to act like a mother to Reuben, to take the pressure off me, something Roo has taken none too kindly to. They understand about tightening our belts, especially as Ant has now given up on the Department of Corrections. I am sure it is a good thing for him and his health but it still raises issues. It will not help his sense of responsibility for us, for example. He seems to see everything in purely financial terms, without really stopping to consider how much we have already in our lives, in this place.

I am so unsure what to do for the best. I have resolved to be positive, to look forward. I mean to be mindful in both what I say and how I feel about myself. In the last few months I feel I have practiced that skill. I try to make less negative comments, to believe in myself and in my strengths. I have others to help me and remind me of my value, but it is still hard to accept compliments still. I wish I could be more like the kids who just say 'thank you' and earnestly believe what is said of them. They are BRILLIANT KIDS! I am so proud of them.




Couldn't resist this...

You Are "alt"

Some people might find you to be strange, mysterious, and even a bit off putting. You tend to be drawn to and influenced by alternative lifestyles. You're definitely not normal. Once people get to know you, they realize you're interesting, intriguing, and very intelligent. You have a lot of knowledge stored in that big brain of yours. Most of it is useless knowledge, but some of it is very useful.

What Keyboard Key Are You?

And...

Your Rising Sign is Aquarius

You are an interesting mix of introspective and outlandish. Waving your freak flag high, you really do things your own way. While you may seem distant, you care very deeply for humanity. You just have no tolerance for fools, slackers, or dullards. And while you're fairly misanthropic, many are drawn to you. Innovative and clever, people look to you for new ideas and trends.

What's Your Rising Sign?

The return of Blogthings!!!

You Find Some Parts of Your Family Frightening

You feel a bit overwhelmed by and resentful of your family right now. This is a good moment for you to take some time away from them. You feel like some members of your family are too unhappy. These family members tend to create unhappiness for everyone else. You believe that one of your relatives is truly evil. You wish to be protected from this person at all costs. You are honest and very outspoken with your family. You sometimes hurt feelings by saying things they don't want to hear.

How Do You Really Feel About Your Family?

Your Quirk Factor: 56%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it. Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

You Are A Nightgown

You are a bit old fashioned and elegant. You aren't very casual. You are well mannered and modest. You don't make a fool of yourself. You tend to be a bit reserved, and it's hard for strangers to get to know you. You are likely to not let anyone outside your bedroom see you in your pajamas.

What Kind of Pajamas Are You?

You Should Live in Idaho

If you don't want to live in Idaho, you might also consider: Kansas Maryland New Mexico Oregon Virginia

What State Should You Live In?

Hmmm

Your Word is "Think"

You see life as an amazing mix of possibilities, ideas, and fascinations. And sometimes you feel like you don't have enough time to take it all in. You love learning. Whether you're in school or not, you're probably immersed in several subjects right now. When you're not learning, you're busy reflecting. You think a lot about the people you know and the things you've experienced.

What's Your Word?