Highs and Lows

Caitlin has had a hard day today. Her mood has vacillated wildly. She began by lying about having breakfast. She said she had had some, but hadn't. After her trip to Arnside she has been more conscious of her tummy. I wonder what was said to her, though she won't talk about it.

We went searching for Roo's birthday presents and for a suitable 'trophy' for my new Award for Creative Thinking at school. Her tone changed by the minute, up one minute, sobbing the next, the usual really, probably due to her lack of breakfast. We did find a trophy. My heart was set on something wooden, a sculpture or a puzzle . But then we stumbled across the perfet thing; a nepalese singing bowl. I'd never been in the Tiger's Eye shop before so obviously it was fate. The assistant used to work with Jo Williams at Over Kellet and another customer knew Carla. Concidence? I like to think not! My 'prize' needed to be quirky but this is so suitable. The stuffed shirts will see a cup ( OK so not a traditional one) whilst we will know it is something special! It really made me tingle, so I knew it was right.

When C and I walked home, she got very emotional about Grandad. He had forgotten mum's name yesterday and thought I was his granddaughter. Ant says we shouldn't put him on the spot; just tell him, or mention each other by name so he has a clue. She needed a big cuddle and a good cry. She wants to know how long he's got and says that he isn't really her grandad any more. She wants the old one back.

We went to see Sara and Jess in their dance show. Jess was superb, a five year old bossy boots, telling her tutued mates what to do. Sara's cancan was a sight. I shall never look at her in the same light again...and neither will Anton, once he took his eyes off the well developed girl who should not have been wearing a tutu. There comes an age...

C gave Jess a little rabbit but got upset because she didn't know how to get it to her. Usually she is mega confident but wouldn't go backstage. We waited and saw Jess and Sara so C was OK but still wobbly.

She has so much on her mind; grandad, selling the house, moving, leaving school, daddy's health, her tummy, how to kill Bethany!. Who'd be a kid? I try to keep her in the loop. She may only be nine but she needs to feel a sense of control just like I do. Ant is talking about booking flights even without selling the house.

I have an appointment to see C's new psych on Friday. At least they have agreed there is something there but I don't see what they can do to help until she is older and needs meds like me. At least this way there is evidence of our concern so in the next few years we hopefully won't have to fight like I did.

The doctor versus the master. Round one to the master, greater charisma, superb smile and totally off his head....cool!