Emotionally Weird by Kate Atkinson:
A mother and daughter sit in a house on a Scottish Island recounting interesting times. Nora, the mother ( or is she) explains about Effie's ancestors whilst Effie describes her time at Dundee University on an English course. It is interspersed with snippets of the creative writing produced by the students, asides from Nora and a gamut of interesting characters- the dotty professor, the anarchic family, a private detective, a yellow dog and the inhabitants of a commune.
I have read this twice and I am not entirely sure I get it. It doesn't feel as well written as her other books- Behind the scenes at the museum and Case Histories ( which I really like).
Life on the Refrigerator Door by Alice Kuipers: a series of post it notes etc left on the refrigerator as a conversation between a mum and her 15 year old daughter during a particularly difficult few months. I bought it for Caitlin and it's no surprise she was affected by it. It is slightly grown up for her and outlines the selfishness of both characters, though for majorly different reasons. I read it in about an hour and was very moved by it!
I am currently reading a weighty tome called Underworld by Don De Lillo from the 1001 books list. It is huge but beautifully written so is hardly arduous, although I can't exactly carry it around with me in my back pocket. I feel I ought to make a brief note on each chapter so I don't lose the thread and so I can remember more of the plot when I'm tired.
I now have two weeks' work starting Monday so no time off! Ho hum
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Casino Royale
First new book from the 1001.
Figured I'd pick a short one so I could get the score up to 74. I am aiming for 100 before I reconsider this as a bad idea. Next comes DeLillo and Auster.
Casino Royale was an interesting read, very much of its time. Bond is a misogynist dinosaur ( as quoth M to Pierce Brosnan) of the 1940's. Vesper comes across as she did in the film and the torture scene was horrifying, even more so than the film. Is it a good idea to read a book after you've seen the film? Made it easier to concentrate on the character nuances and the paucity of language.
C is reading Northern Lights ( after she saw the film). She is comparing it to the film and the film is losing!
Figured I'd pick a short one so I could get the score up to 74. I am aiming for 100 before I reconsider this as a bad idea. Next comes DeLillo and Auster.
Casino Royale was an interesting read, very much of its time. Bond is a misogynist dinosaur ( as quoth M to Pierce Brosnan) of the 1940's. Vesper comes across as she did in the film and the torture scene was horrifying, even more so than the film. Is it a good idea to read a book after you've seen the film? Made it easier to concentrate on the character nuances and the paucity of language.
C is reading Northern Lights ( after she saw the film). She is comparing it to the film and the film is losing!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Books
I have another blog, entitled the Library of my Life, which was intended as a review of books I had read, as when I am in a hyper or dark mood, I tend to struggle to read or forget what I've written. A sort of aide memoire I guess. I haven't been very good at keeping it up. If two blogs are hard to do, three are impossible. So I think I shall amalgamate it into this blog, since it is integral to my life as a Manic.
I found another blog entitled 'So many books, so little time". The blogger/bloggerine/bloggette gets involved in lots of reading challenges and posts lots of lists, like the 1000 books you must read in your lifetime.
I just found her marking scheme ( out of 10) which I loved.
10 One of the best, worth adding to my permanent collection
9 Compelling, wonderful, should force strangers to read this
8 Very good, happy I read it
7 Quite good actually
6 Okay plus, good, but not so remarkable
5 Okay, pleasant enough but entirely forgettable
4 I read this under duress or a sense of obligation to the group
3 Why did I bother?
2 I read this only due to lack of nearby cereal boxes
1 Painful, but continued reading anyway
0 Despicable, vile; continued reading to burn off purgatory time
(Created by Jan T.)
I think I'll stick some more lists on the sidebar, just so I can remember to read or feel inspired.
At present life is pretty good. The sun is shining, the washing is dry, the drugs seem to be working and the children are quiet (friends round and no arguments). We have had visitors from the UK ( Claire and Graham) and it was lovely to share our bit of paradise with them. They have been touring the country for two months and are about to fly back to Blighty, poor things. I sometimes fear having people around when my head is off but they are so easy to talk to and relaxed with a silence.
Perhaps I should add a currently reading to the blog too, for more inspiration?
I found another blog entitled 'So many books, so little time". The blogger/bloggerine/bloggette gets involved in lots of reading challenges and posts lots of lists, like the 1000 books you must read in your lifetime.
I just found her marking scheme ( out of 10) which I loved.
10 One of the best, worth adding to my permanent collection
9 Compelling, wonderful, should force strangers to read this
8 Very good, happy I read it
7 Quite good actually
6 Okay plus, good, but not so remarkable
5 Okay, pleasant enough but entirely forgettable
4 I read this under duress or a sense of obligation to the group
3 Why did I bother?
2 I read this only due to lack of nearby cereal boxes
1 Painful, but continued reading anyway
0 Despicable, vile; continued reading to burn off purgatory time
(Created by Jan T.)
I think I'll stick some more lists on the sidebar, just so I can remember to read or feel inspired.
At present life is pretty good. The sun is shining, the washing is dry, the drugs seem to be working and the children are quiet (friends round and no arguments). We have had visitors from the UK ( Claire and Graham) and it was lovely to share our bit of paradise with them. They have been touring the country for two months and are about to fly back to Blighty, poor things. I sometimes fear having people around when my head is off but they are so easy to talk to and relaxed with a silence.
Perhaps I should add a currently reading to the blog too, for more inspiration?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Happy New Year!!!! 2008
It's difficult to keep up two blogs. I have a moral obligation to write the family one- antandjo.blogspot.com- as all the family read it and are desperate for information and pictures of the kids. I have tried getting the rest of the family to do it but it requires motivation, not something an eight year old has for anything that does not involve a trampoline or a computer game.
Trouble is I can't be honest on the family blog. If I feel shit I have to write that everything is fab otherwise the parents will fret. Christmas has been far from easy, although enjoyable for the most part. My head has been off the lines and Ant says he saw it coming but didn't do or say anything so I sort of blame him for my meltdown. He's just spent thousands on a jetski which at best can cater for two of the family and can't understand why I'm not enthusiastic. We could have bought 10 kayaks for the same price! He winges when I buy a coffee and then splurges!
He hates his job, wants to jack it all and bake cookies ( a la Ben) and then what? I guess I feel that he has let us down. He brought us here, with promises... a trampoline (yes), a spa pool ( yes), a great house ( yes), family time ( hm), a baby ( a big no), a dog ( probably a no). We are having to deal with him being unhappy and not be able to feel frustrated because if you do he hits back. Maybe I am just finding being 'just a mum' less than fulfilling, but I don't seem to stop. This is the first minute I have had to myself for about a week and I'll be in trouble for spending too long on the net, when I should be in bed.
The kids and I are enjoying our holiday. We have our roles, they empty the dishwasher while I hang out washing, then we play, shop, go to the beach, have an adventure, play with the cats, water the plants.
Ant seems jealous of my situation, having made friends with a few of the moms, but it's difficult starting again. I miss having people around who know when I'm starting to gabble and can just say 'stop', who don't expect too much of me, who know they have to ring me, because I could be having a bad day. I miss the possibility of seeing people I love, however fleetingly. Email is fine but I wish some one would just walk through the door and say 'hey'.
I wish my life was as simple as the kittens. They are curled up beside me at midnight, grooming each other, or could that be play fighting. They eat, sleep, purr, run, poop and look cute.
Oh yeah my new year's resolution...to weigh less than a dog! Storm is a big dog ( Newfoundland) but I need to weigh less than her. Well it's good to have an aim.
Been sitting watching the Big Chill as I have been ironing and blogging. Perhaps it struck a nerve or perhaps I chose to watch it for familiar reasons.
Trouble is I can't be honest on the family blog. If I feel shit I have to write that everything is fab otherwise the parents will fret. Christmas has been far from easy, although enjoyable for the most part. My head has been off the lines and Ant says he saw it coming but didn't do or say anything so I sort of blame him for my meltdown. He's just spent thousands on a jetski which at best can cater for two of the family and can't understand why I'm not enthusiastic. We could have bought 10 kayaks for the same price! He winges when I buy a coffee and then splurges!
He hates his job, wants to jack it all and bake cookies ( a la Ben) and then what? I guess I feel that he has let us down. He brought us here, with promises... a trampoline (yes), a spa pool ( yes), a great house ( yes), family time ( hm), a baby ( a big no), a dog ( probably a no). We are having to deal with him being unhappy and not be able to feel frustrated because if you do he hits back. Maybe I am just finding being 'just a mum' less than fulfilling, but I don't seem to stop. This is the first minute I have had to myself for about a week and I'll be in trouble for spending too long on the net, when I should be in bed.
The kids and I are enjoying our holiday. We have our roles, they empty the dishwasher while I hang out washing, then we play, shop, go to the beach, have an adventure, play with the cats, water the plants.
Ant seems jealous of my situation, having made friends with a few of the moms, but it's difficult starting again. I miss having people around who know when I'm starting to gabble and can just say 'stop', who don't expect too much of me, who know they have to ring me, because I could be having a bad day. I miss the possibility of seeing people I love, however fleetingly. Email is fine but I wish some one would just walk through the door and say 'hey'.
I wish my life was as simple as the kittens. They are curled up beside me at midnight, grooming each other, or could that be play fighting. They eat, sleep, purr, run, poop and look cute.
Oh yeah my new year's resolution...to weigh less than a dog! Storm is a big dog ( Newfoundland) but I need to weigh less than her. Well it's good to have an aim.
Been sitting watching the Big Chill as I have been ironing and blogging. Perhaps it struck a nerve or perhaps I chose to watch it for familiar reasons.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Ahhh Internet addiction
23
So very nearly a class full then!!
Looking for payday loan?
So very nearly a class full then!!
| What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more. | |
| Literate Good Citizen | |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm | |
| Book Snob | |
| Fad Reader | |
| Non-Reader | |
| What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz | |
Three months and counting
We have been in NZ now for exactly three months. We touched down in Auckland at 6am September 16th and it is now 7pm December 16th.
Such a lot has happened: in short. Two weeks spent living in a tiny apartment in Torbay, dealing with jetlag, ants and house hunting. We thought we had found the perfect place ( a beautiful villa in Deidre Place in Laingholm) but the building report put us off. The next place we liked the building inspector didn't even bother to look at it as he knew the place and said 'walk away!'. Just as well as we have found a slice of heaven. Two weeks ago we moved into a six bedroomed ( room for visitors) brick and tile gem in a place called Parau, close to the kids' school, next to a beach and tennis courts, down a peaceful little road....
So the story so far. We looked at nearly 60 houses, maybe more until we found this one and even then it was fraught with problems. The council here has to agree everything in triplicate before you can even think about changing anything in a house. Think planning permission but for knocking in a nail or straightening a picture. Suffice it to say quite a bit of this house is 'illegal' but when you are in love you overlook such things.
Looking back the first two weeks were very stressful and we tried to do too much, finding houses, cars, our way around. We fell on our feet with regards to accommodation. The house we were warned off is owned by a lovely girl called Rachel and she lives there with her two toddlers, Chloe (1) and Ben ( a very loud 2). she'd bought the house with another couple four months previously but they'd moved out just before the birth of their second child and because their first and Ben didn't get on. They needed some way of covering the mortgage and Rachel suggested that we move in. Although far from ideal, we had a roof over our heads.
I am convinced the house had sick building syndrome. Everyone was ill, including Reuben! It was probably due to damp and to a lack of a good night's sleep!
On the plus side, we found the children a delightful school, Laingholm Primary- The greatest little school in the Universe, run by a head who understands that school should be fun and by an incredibly dedicated staff. Caitlin has the remarkable Miss W ( Wolstenholme) whilst Roo is with the very young Miss Guertz. Both have found their feet quickly- especially Caitlin and both have made some very good friends! I have been doing a bit of relief work there. I'm known as Mrs A and apparantly I'm 'cool!" I think that means a pushover though Room 14, the class from hell, have grown on me over the weeks!
The high spots of our first three months ( I use the term loosely)
The burglary; I met three strapping men coming out of our shared house, with Rachel's tv in the back of their car. I'm not sure what came over me but I tried to block them in the drive with my car but I got myself rather man handled and they managed to push my car out of the way. We reckon they'd only been in the house for five minutes and only took a tv a dvd player and probably one of our ds's ( we may have just misplaced it). The police came, the helicopter came out, the SOCO arrived three days later(!!!!), we all had to be fingerprinted ( in the cells) and I had to look at mug shots. Exciting really but a bit time concuming and no conclusion yet.
New cars! I have a blue RAV4 and Ant has a white Toyota MRS ( old ones but hey). He needed a boy toy for the many miles he was going to be travelling every day.
The thermal pools at Waiwera. Fantastic hot thermal pool resort, just the thing for over coming jetlag, including a pool with a cinema screen. Child Heaven!
Anton starting work; His first day was spent drumming and walking in the bush ( team building) His second day started with a formal Maori ceremony where we passed him over to the care of his workplace. Lots of nose rubbing and Maori chanting. Sadly work hasn't quite lived up to his expectations.
Reuben mastering the monkey bars in the school playground.
Roo never wearing any shoes
Caitlin getting to the final of the school speech competition with an oratory on 'Books'! And the semis of the geeral knowledge when most of the questions were on New Zealand
Both of them being fantastic tennis players, and making huge progress in their tennis lessons!
Guy Fawkes night in the rain
Rotorua; Ant was at a conference so we spent the previous weekend there. Hot springs and geysers in the middle of a city centre park. Phemonenal pools of sulphur, the smell of rotten eggs and one of the best brunches in the world (At the Fat dog cafe).
Going to the Netball world Cup competition at our local stadium, and meeting the English Team and getting C's ball signed.
Kitting out Roo's bedroom for under $150 dollars using Trademe ( like eBay).
Finding furniture from unlikely sources ( garage sales, Sally Army). Caitlin's Mackintosh chair is a major find.
The new spa, trampoline and barbeque...well why else are we here!
Ladies football at Laingholm on Tuesday nights. All that time spent watching John Terry was not in vain.
The container arriving and having all our stuff around us, after three months of living out of suitcases.
Putting up the Christmas tree after spending the day on the beach at Whatipu.
Watching Gok on Friday nights.
Caitlin being addicted to Shortland Street!
Such a lot has happened: in short. Two weeks spent living in a tiny apartment in Torbay, dealing with jetlag, ants and house hunting. We thought we had found the perfect place ( a beautiful villa in Deidre Place in Laingholm) but the building report put us off. The next place we liked the building inspector didn't even bother to look at it as he knew the place and said 'walk away!'. Just as well as we have found a slice of heaven. Two weeks ago we moved into a six bedroomed ( room for visitors) brick and tile gem in a place called Parau, close to the kids' school, next to a beach and tennis courts, down a peaceful little road....
So the story so far. We looked at nearly 60 houses, maybe more until we found this one and even then it was fraught with problems. The council here has to agree everything in triplicate before you can even think about changing anything in a house. Think planning permission but for knocking in a nail or straightening a picture. Suffice it to say quite a bit of this house is 'illegal' but when you are in love you overlook such things.
Looking back the first two weeks were very stressful and we tried to do too much, finding houses, cars, our way around. We fell on our feet with regards to accommodation. The house we were warned off is owned by a lovely girl called Rachel and she lives there with her two toddlers, Chloe (1) and Ben ( a very loud 2). she'd bought the house with another couple four months previously but they'd moved out just before the birth of their second child and because their first and Ben didn't get on. They needed some way of covering the mortgage and Rachel suggested that we move in. Although far from ideal, we had a roof over our heads.
I am convinced the house had sick building syndrome. Everyone was ill, including Reuben! It was probably due to damp and to a lack of a good night's sleep!
On the plus side, we found the children a delightful school, Laingholm Primary- The greatest little school in the Universe, run by a head who understands that school should be fun and by an incredibly dedicated staff. Caitlin has the remarkable Miss W ( Wolstenholme) whilst Roo is with the very young Miss Guertz. Both have found their feet quickly- especially Caitlin and both have made some very good friends! I have been doing a bit of relief work there. I'm known as Mrs A and apparantly I'm 'cool!" I think that means a pushover though Room 14, the class from hell, have grown on me over the weeks!
The high spots of our first three months ( I use the term loosely)
The burglary; I met three strapping men coming out of our shared house, with Rachel's tv in the back of their car. I'm not sure what came over me but I tried to block them in the drive with my car but I got myself rather man handled and they managed to push my car out of the way. We reckon they'd only been in the house for five minutes and only took a tv a dvd player and probably one of our ds's ( we may have just misplaced it). The police came, the helicopter came out, the SOCO arrived three days later(!!!!), we all had to be fingerprinted ( in the cells) and I had to look at mug shots. Exciting really but a bit time concuming and no conclusion yet.
New cars! I have a blue RAV4 and Ant has a white Toyota MRS ( old ones but hey). He needed a boy toy for the many miles he was going to be travelling every day.
The thermal pools at Waiwera. Fantastic hot thermal pool resort, just the thing for over coming jetlag, including a pool with a cinema screen. Child Heaven!
Anton starting work; His first day was spent drumming and walking in the bush ( team building) His second day started with a formal Maori ceremony where we passed him over to the care of his workplace. Lots of nose rubbing and Maori chanting. Sadly work hasn't quite lived up to his expectations.
Reuben mastering the monkey bars in the school playground.
Roo never wearing any shoes
Caitlin getting to the final of the school speech competition with an oratory on 'Books'! And the semis of the geeral knowledge when most of the questions were on New Zealand
Both of them being fantastic tennis players, and making huge progress in their tennis lessons!
Guy Fawkes night in the rain
Rotorua; Ant was at a conference so we spent the previous weekend there. Hot springs and geysers in the middle of a city centre park. Phemonenal pools of sulphur, the smell of rotten eggs and one of the best brunches in the world (At the Fat dog cafe).
Going to the Netball world Cup competition at our local stadium, and meeting the English Team and getting C's ball signed.
Kitting out Roo's bedroom for under $150 dollars using Trademe ( like eBay).
Finding furniture from unlikely sources ( garage sales, Sally Army). Caitlin's Mackintosh chair is a major find.
The new spa, trampoline and barbeque...well why else are we here!
Ladies football at Laingholm on Tuesday nights. All that time spent watching John Terry was not in vain.
The container arriving and having all our stuff around us, after three months of living out of suitcases.
Putting up the Christmas tree after spending the day on the beach at Whatipu.
Watching Gok on Friday nights.
Caitlin being addicted to Shortland Street!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Still hanging on at the end of the earth
At last i find almost real broadband in New Zealand, but am too tired to write, Ho hum
Friday, September 14, 2007
Heathrow
It seems like an eternity since I last blogged. So much has happened but then so little that I need or choose to write about. OUr home is in a crate somewhere on a boat. The rest of my life is in 8 suitcases and four pieces of hand luggage somewhere in Heathrow airport. We have one and three quarter hours till we fly out to our new life. The kids have gone in search of food and I am becoming increasingly hot...too young for the menopause surely, especially as the kids want a kiwi brother or sister!
Auckland awaits
Auckland awaits
Monday, September 03, 2007
An empty house ( almost)
I am very impressed with packers.
Two men ( well a man and a Man U supporter) arrived at 11.30 left at 4.30 and had packed nearly our entire lives into boxes. We still have one bed ( going to the tip) a table and chairs, kettle and toaster, cutlery and our mess! Phew!
We are all feeling a little shell shocked! Roo is very clingy, Caitlin is being a little adult and I have had a little weep whilst writing good luck cards for school.
It feels like quite a relief seeing everything boxed, like we are organised...trouble is there are still cases to sort out. We have five filled and two half filled. In fact one of them is enroute to Oxford with mum in law, what's the betting we forget that one!
We are all exhausted. Chippie and video tonight I think
Two men ( well a man and a Man U supporter) arrived at 11.30 left at 4.30 and had packed nearly our entire lives into boxes. We still have one bed ( going to the tip) a table and chairs, kettle and toaster, cutlery and our mess! Phew!
We are all feeling a little shell shocked! Roo is very clingy, Caitlin is being a little adult and I have had a little weep whilst writing good luck cards for school.
It feels like quite a relief seeing everything boxed, like we are organised...trouble is there are still cases to sort out. We have five filled and two half filled. In fact one of them is enroute to Oxford with mum in law, what's the betting we forget that one!
We are all exhausted. Chippie and video tonight I think
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Full on.
Since 9.00 this morning we hve been packing, tidying, dismantling, tipping, dumping, dusting, cleaning and more. I am exhausted but there is still so much to do. I'm off to pack my hand luggage just so it is all in one place.
Tra la la
Tra la la
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Heart pounding
We have been out to the Mintfest Art festival tonight, a rather random melange of strret theatre, performance hair dressing and naked frenchmen syphoning red wine through their...
We weren't supposed to be going, still lots to do, but Ant had arranged to see Enda ( who has bought our car). Turns out they weren't in so we wandered aimlessly through Kendal on the off chance. I found the whole thing very frustrating. Today has been fairly aimless indeed. I did get a haircut and some space and C went and bought crocs with Granny, and Roo had a lunch date with mates. I did manage to fill 6 bin bags but even so. There is still so much to do, I can't decide if we should be taking more or less stuff. I have no idea how much sorting I should have done, or how much will just be packed. I have never had my house packed before so I don't know quite what I'm facing.
I am feeling very tense...of course Ant just says my head has gone but then I am feeling very out of control. I just want to escape tonight, to walk out and leave him to it. I am convinced that stuff wil be crated that we need to take with us and we'll end up with eight huge cases full, even with all my throwing out.
Ant seems to be thinking purely in terms of money; every penny counts. He's ruing my not letting him have a house sale but then I didn't feel we were organised enough. And we still aren't!
We weren't supposed to be going, still lots to do, but Ant had arranged to see Enda ( who has bought our car). Turns out they weren't in so we wandered aimlessly through Kendal on the off chance. I found the whole thing very frustrating. Today has been fairly aimless indeed. I did get a haircut and some space and C went and bought crocs with Granny, and Roo had a lunch date with mates. I did manage to fill 6 bin bags but even so. There is still so much to do, I can't decide if we should be taking more or less stuff. I have no idea how much sorting I should have done, or how much will just be packed. I have never had my house packed before so I don't know quite what I'm facing.
I am feeling very tense...of course Ant just says my head has gone but then I am feeling very out of control. I just want to escape tonight, to walk out and leave him to it. I am convinced that stuff wil be crated that we need to take with us and we'll end up with eight huge cases full, even with all my throwing out.
Ant seems to be thinking purely in terms of money; every penny counts. He's ruing my not letting him have a house sale but then I didn't feel we were organised enough. And we still aren't!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Big Brother
So Brian won BB! Richly deserved!
I am really not sure how I am going to cope with the next few weks. There are so many goodbyes to say. I have said so long to some school colleagues/friends and that was hard. What will it be like with my family?
We are getting to the end of the road packing wise but I still can't believe how much stuff there is in our house.
Feeling weepy
p.s. Moji is back off his holiday
I am really not sure how I am going to cope with the next few weks. There are so many goodbyes to say. I have said so long to some school colleagues/friends and that was hard. What will it be like with my family?
We are getting to the end of the road packing wise but I still can't believe how much stuff there is in our house.
Feeling weepy
p.s. Moji is back off his holiday
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday
V tired tonight. 2 hours of ironing with the US Open. Spent p.m trying to sort out the playroom. Have shredded everything fom the filing cabinet and have cancelled loads of direct debits, storecards and the TV licence.
Successful ebay campaign this week, raised over £50 and still a day to run!
When Oh when will we be ready for this move? We fly out on the 14th, complete on the house on the 7th and pack up on the 3rd.AAAAAAAAAaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!
Am reading excessively to take mind off everything.Just finished Double Fault by Lionel Shriver. I loved the fact that the two main characters were so unlikeable but so well developed. Not sure about the ending, rather abrupt but overall a book I needed to finish.
Successful ebay campaign this week, raised over £50 and still a day to run!
When Oh when will we be ready for this move? We fly out on the 14th, complete on the house on the 7th and pack up on the 3rd.AAAAAAAAAaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!
Am reading excessively to take mind off everything.Just finished Double Fault by Lionel Shriver. I loved the fact that the two main characters were so unlikeable but so well developed. Not sure about the ending, rather abrupt but overall a book I needed to finish.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
My moji has disappeared
I think my moji is having a nervous breakdown. He has disappeared for the last few days.
Fraught is a good word; so are stressed, panicky, procrastinating, ill, worried, nervous, anxious, pissed off, responsible, etc etc
I am not sure if I am ill or if I am having an allergic reaction to dust or hayfever; either way I feel awful.
One lesson I have learned is about consumption. We are getting rid of so much stuff that, at some point, we must have felt we needed. It has been so refreshing seeing spaces appearing in our house. They have stopped being holes and are becoming free space. It is cleansing to be able to say 'I don't need this'. I am definitely going to be careful about what I buy in the future. And use freecycle a whole lot more.
We are less concerned about what the house looks like now. It is a complete tip so that is probably adding to the sense of helplessness. No tidying up is being done, so there is no clear tidy free space in which to escape. The front room is full of suitcases, the back room is full of 'god knows what!', the kitchen is a bombsite and the playroom, well, looks the same as it always does just more mess and fewer objects.
Fingers crossed for a good return on eBay
Fraught is a good word; so are stressed, panicky, procrastinating, ill, worried, nervous, anxious, pissed off, responsible, etc etc
I am not sure if I am ill or if I am having an allergic reaction to dust or hayfever; either way I feel awful.
One lesson I have learned is about consumption. We are getting rid of so much stuff that, at some point, we must have felt we needed. It has been so refreshing seeing spaces appearing in our house. They have stopped being holes and are becoming free space. It is cleansing to be able to say 'I don't need this'. I am definitely going to be careful about what I buy in the future. And use freecycle a whole lot more.
We are less concerned about what the house looks like now. It is a complete tip so that is probably adding to the sense of helplessness. No tidying up is being done, so there is no clear tidy free space in which to escape. The front room is full of suitcases, the back room is full of 'god knows what!', the kitchen is a bombsite and the playroom, well, looks the same as it always does just more mess and fewer objects.
Fingers crossed for a good return on eBay
Saturday, August 25, 2007
OMG the flights are booked
We fly out of Heathrow on Friday 14th September 2007, via LAX, landing in Auckland on Sunday morning.
The panic attacks and sleepless nights have started already. I am just glad the World athletics championships are on overnight. Makes it all bearable.
The panic attacks and sleepless nights have started already. I am just glad the World athletics championships are on overnight. Makes it all bearable.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Holes!
There are holes appearing all over our house! There is a computer sized hole, a freezer shaped hole, a wedding dress size hole ( someone got a bargain £1.20!!!!!!!) and now a rat sized hole.
Anton was rather sad to see the dress go! There was a wistful look in his eyes when I took it down to post. Ahhhhh!
I was rather more upset about the rat. No he hasn't died. Yoda has gone to a new home. I emailed Alan, the man who offered to have the boys when he came out of hospital. Turns out he hasn't actually had his op ( too fat and on too many meds) so is living life to the full. He's just got two cats and now a rat. He'd been round a few times, but we were never in.But I'm glad he was so eager to have 'my boy'. His son managed to drop the cage on his way out. Luckily Yoda was in his floodlight box at the time so I only had to sweep sawdust off the floor not bits of rat!
I had a little weep after he left. We used to do my planning together with him on the table. I'm sure he was my inspiration some days. Still, this is better than the alternative!
Retail therapy helped today. Lots of t shirts, a new pair of crocs, and lots of books for the family to share: The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, The Magician's Guild, Trilogy, Just in Case, Wolf Brother and Attica. We have been reading The Talent Thief most nights and really enjoying the closeness, cuddles and indeed the story. I used the vouchers I got from school to buy them as a) books are expensive in NZ so we felt we should stock up and b) it seemed like a good 'family' thing to do! I still have loads of books to read from the last few months so I didn't need any more and it made the kids feel that they had something familiar to look forward to.
We are inches from exchange of contracts, then we can book flights. We are planning to fly via LA as we can take twice as much luggage (46 versus 23kgs). There is hassle with US immigration, unloading cases and reloading again but heck we can take so much more!
Anton was rather sad to see the dress go! There was a wistful look in his eyes when I took it down to post. Ahhhhh!
I was rather more upset about the rat. No he hasn't died. Yoda has gone to a new home. I emailed Alan, the man who offered to have the boys when he came out of hospital. Turns out he hasn't actually had his op ( too fat and on too many meds) so is living life to the full. He's just got two cats and now a rat. He'd been round a few times, but we were never in.But I'm glad he was so eager to have 'my boy'. His son managed to drop the cage on his way out. Luckily Yoda was in his floodlight box at the time so I only had to sweep sawdust off the floor not bits of rat!
I had a little weep after he left. We used to do my planning together with him on the table. I'm sure he was my inspiration some days. Still, this is better than the alternative!
Retail therapy helped today. Lots of t shirts, a new pair of crocs, and lots of books for the family to share: The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas, The Magician's Guild, Trilogy, Just in Case, Wolf Brother and Attica. We have been reading The Talent Thief most nights and really enjoying the closeness, cuddles and indeed the story. I used the vouchers I got from school to buy them as a) books are expensive in NZ so we felt we should stock up and b) it seemed like a good 'family' thing to do! I still have loads of books to read from the last few months so I didn't need any more and it made the kids feel that they had something familiar to look forward to.
We are inches from exchange of contracts, then we can book flights. We are planning to fly via LA as we can take twice as much luggage (46 versus 23kgs). There is hassle with US immigration, unloading cases and reloading again but heck we can take so much more!
Where do I start?
It has been a very strange and eventful few days.
Following my little mood swing, I felt awful. I woke up on Wednesday with distinctly flu like symptoms, so I stayed in bed till lunchtime. Ant took the kids to my mums (to deliver a computer and a freezer) and to play badminton and all I knew was when Roo came to see me and told me he had had lots of biscuits at mums.
Mum appeared about 1.30 to bring me some flowers and to pick up the freezer keys which had ended up in my pocket. Then she dropped the bombshell. She had run over my dad in her car when she was backing it out of the garage to make room for Ant's car and the freezer. Dad landed on the pavement, apparantly having been bumped by the end of the car. I did my best Doctor Who Xmas impression 'WHAT! What? WHat!'. She'd brought him out in the car with her to see me but he stayed in the car, muttering about how she had done it before and how it didn't hurt as much as last time! So not true!
At three o'clock I took Yoda and Bam Bam to the vets. Yoda has a full bill of health, his patchy fur being a natural curse of being a curly rex. Bam Bam, on the other hand, has become bald because, wait for it, he is allergic to fleas inspite of not having any evidence of any and he has a few harvest mites. These are the latest thing in the cat world. So the scrawny thing needed steroids and lots of 'Frontline'. £60 pounds later!!! I have told mum she'll have to have him since no one else will look at a cat with no fur! She is not happy.
So when I rang her to tell her the cat news, she says 'I'm taking your dad to A&E. He is in so much pain and can't walk!" Needless to say, I went over, not thinking for a second about giving my flu to anyone else. It took a good half an hour to get him in the car and then we needed a wheel chair to get him into the hospital. Everyone thought he had broken his hip and mother was wracked with guilt. She felt so responsible, so anxious and so out of control. I needed to be the calm one. Dad was of course out of it. He had no idea what had happened, kept saying 'how long have I had this? It happened last week!".
Luckily the x ray came back very quickly. No bones broken so they couldn't wait to get him out of there. They gave him a zimmer frame and helped us get him into the car and that was it. I am no professional but surely an elderly man who has had a serious fall needs observation, even if he is a pain with Alzheimers! We got him home eventually and two days later he is able to get down stairs and is comfortable. He still has no idea what happened- just as well- and has been hallucinating because of the Codeine he's been taking but at least he is nearly back to NORMAL!!!!!
This post could become "War and Peace ' so I'll write part two later!
Following my little mood swing, I felt awful. I woke up on Wednesday with distinctly flu like symptoms, so I stayed in bed till lunchtime. Ant took the kids to my mums (to deliver a computer and a freezer) and to play badminton and all I knew was when Roo came to see me and told me he had had lots of biscuits at mums.
Mum appeared about 1.30 to bring me some flowers and to pick up the freezer keys which had ended up in my pocket. Then she dropped the bombshell. She had run over my dad in her car when she was backing it out of the garage to make room for Ant's car and the freezer. Dad landed on the pavement, apparantly having been bumped by the end of the car. I did my best Doctor Who Xmas impression 'WHAT! What? WHat!'. She'd brought him out in the car with her to see me but he stayed in the car, muttering about how she had done it before and how it didn't hurt as much as last time! So not true!
At three o'clock I took Yoda and Bam Bam to the vets. Yoda has a full bill of health, his patchy fur being a natural curse of being a curly rex. Bam Bam, on the other hand, has become bald because, wait for it, he is allergic to fleas inspite of not having any evidence of any and he has a few harvest mites. These are the latest thing in the cat world. So the scrawny thing needed steroids and lots of 'Frontline'. £60 pounds later!!! I have told mum she'll have to have him since no one else will look at a cat with no fur! She is not happy.
So when I rang her to tell her the cat news, she says 'I'm taking your dad to A&E. He is in so much pain and can't walk!" Needless to say, I went over, not thinking for a second about giving my flu to anyone else. It took a good half an hour to get him in the car and then we needed a wheel chair to get him into the hospital. Everyone thought he had broken his hip and mother was wracked with guilt. She felt so responsible, so anxious and so out of control. I needed to be the calm one. Dad was of course out of it. He had no idea what had happened, kept saying 'how long have I had this? It happened last week!".
Luckily the x ray came back very quickly. No bones broken so they couldn't wait to get him out of there. They gave him a zimmer frame and helped us get him into the car and that was it. I am no professional but surely an elderly man who has had a serious fall needs observation, even if he is a pain with Alzheimers! We got him home eventually and two days later he is able to get down stairs and is comfortable. He still has no idea what happened- just as well- and has been hallucinating because of the Codeine he's been taking but at least he is nearly back to NORMAL!!!!!
This post could become "War and Peace ' so I'll write part two later!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Day Four
So four days after a drinking session, I have this mood swing, so today was the day. My mood hasn't been too outlandish, although I did snap at C when she was desperate for me to play 'Phoenix Wright' at 9 o'clock this morning. I have noticed myself getting very snappy with the kids over those games, as though I feel pressured into doing the problem solving stuff when I am not thinking clearly.
Played tennis with the kids. I can see why C has friendship troubles. If she doesn't get her own way, she mopes. She really didn't like it that for five minutes Ant and I wanted to hit the ball really hard. Arghhhhh!
We did talk about it later, when we had to sit in the cafe before karate. Lost keys- another arggghhhh! We both agreed that we can sort of reinvent ourselves when we move. I explained about saying 'yes' to suggestions rather than 'no'. She feels people regard her as being very clever and she has to live up to it, which is true. She is bright but others can take advantage of that, asking her to do something, like write a play, and then pulling it apart when they don't like it! The NZ curriculum seems to set great store on collaborative learning and practical problem solving so we have talked about compromise, agreeing and then amending ideas. People tend to be willing to adapt an idea rather than being told to change it completely.
I had an hour to myself today, over coffee, so I didn't kill anyone. But I then spent three hours sorting out my desktop computer so that mum can have it. I don't think it's ever worked so well. Amazing what happens when you take off lots of academic software, oh yeah and renewed its virus protect! For some reason she didn't seem overjoyed to hear I was taking it over. Really not sure it was worth the effort, but that's how the mood is!
Felt I had taken on too much ( or rather was the only one to do the stuff) when I was trying to clear up the pooter, cook tea, iron karate suits and sort out appointments for the pets at the vets. Better get them sorted before I go to the doctors obviously!
Anton has bought lots of windsurfing stuff from a guy up on Kendal Green. Should have bid on eBay but did it privately. I reckon he could have got them for £20 but he spent £175. One born every...!
Played tennis with the kids. I can see why C has friendship troubles. If she doesn't get her own way, she mopes. She really didn't like it that for five minutes Ant and I wanted to hit the ball really hard. Arghhhhh!
We did talk about it later, when we had to sit in the cafe before karate. Lost keys- another arggghhhh! We both agreed that we can sort of reinvent ourselves when we move. I explained about saying 'yes' to suggestions rather than 'no'. She feels people regard her as being very clever and she has to live up to it, which is true. She is bright but others can take advantage of that, asking her to do something, like write a play, and then pulling it apart when they don't like it! The NZ curriculum seems to set great store on collaborative learning and practical problem solving so we have talked about compromise, agreeing and then amending ideas. People tend to be willing to adapt an idea rather than being told to change it completely.
I had an hour to myself today, over coffee, so I didn't kill anyone. But I then spent three hours sorting out my desktop computer so that mum can have it. I don't think it's ever worked so well. Amazing what happens when you take off lots of academic software, oh yeah and renewed its virus protect! For some reason she didn't seem overjoyed to hear I was taking it over. Really not sure it was worth the effort, but that's how the mood is!
Felt I had taken on too much ( or rather was the only one to do the stuff) when I was trying to clear up the pooter, cook tea, iron karate suits and sort out appointments for the pets at the vets. Better get them sorted before I go to the doctors obviously!
Anton has bought lots of windsurfing stuff from a guy up on Kendal Green. Should have bid on eBay but did it privately. I reckon he could have got them for £20 but he spent £175. One born every...!
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Hung over
Made a fatal decision to drink last night. Justine, Tony and the kids came over for a Caitlin organised party. It's just as well she arranged it as we'd never get around to socialising. Everyone seems to be going on holiday this week so we can have time to clear up a bit more. I have filled few more boxes. My sister and god daughters finally came over yesterday and raided the book shelves and pictures. I did get some money out of Jacce for our pharoah picture. I refused to give it her for nothing. I was more than happy for Rachel to have loads of pictures as I know she will appreciate them.
We have all been very tired today, a late night has been had by all. I even slept through the Chelsea Liverpool draw. Had a wonderful time watching the Manchester derby. God old City. And Durham won the one day final. Paul Collingwood should go to the top of the faves list again.
The kids traded in some DS games and bought me 'Phoenix Wright-Ace Attorney'. Good for the little grey cells, though not with a hang over, or when C does bits without me!
Roo has been playing 'age of mythology' and has decided he wants to be a Historian- god help him.
P.S Yoda is looking very sad!
We have all been very tired today, a late night has been had by all. I even slept through the Chelsea Liverpool draw. Had a wonderful time watching the Manchester derby. God old City. And Durham won the one day final. Paul Collingwood should go to the top of the faves list again.
The kids traded in some DS games and bought me 'Phoenix Wright-Ace Attorney'. Good for the little grey cells, though not with a hang over, or when C does bits without me!
Roo has been playing 'age of mythology' and has decided he wants to be a Historian- god help him.
P.S Yoda is looking very sad!
Thursday, August 16, 2007
A strange day
Perhaps the death of Grievous set the tone for the day but I have a tremendous sense of a lack of achievement so hopefully writing this will focus my mind.
The kids went to Enda's today with Ant asking me what I planned to do with my day. I had no idea but there was a vague suggestion of organising something. After breakfast I spent time blog hopping but eventually aimed for the playroom, to cuddle Yoda and empty a shelf or two.
I did fill a bin bag and a box for the charity shop but I felt I had made more mess than when I started. I did manage to get my sewing stuff into one place, though not in any order. That will come later. The trouble was I was sorting out the shelves that had teaching stuff on it. Now, admittedly, some of it was very old and outdated but I still felt odd adding stuff to the discard pile. I felt I was resigning myself to a lack of identity. I have no problem with my role as mum but it feels strange to be ridding myself of the trappings of my profession. I don't know whether to keep what seems to be the most important files just in case I need them when/if I choose to teach again or be totally ruthless with myself and assume the NZ system has no need of British resources.
I also managed to get all our NZ documents in one place so that says something!
We took a group trip to see the Simpson movie. It was, as expected, just a longer episode with fewer jokes but the boys ( 8 year olds) loved it.
The rat had a very formal funeral service, once we had got over the trauma of trying to dig a hole big enough to take the box. Roots and rocks made life difficult. We said a few words over the 'site' and Caitlin left a flower to mark the spot.
I also put my wedding dress on eBay. There must be major psychological value in that.
So you see it seems that I have achieved somethings today just lots of little things. My mind seems to be in one of its wandering modes. If I don't focus, or if I try to handle jobs ( like the playroom) with lots of potential, I can get overwhelmed and meltdown. Making sure I only tidied the room for one hour and filled one bag of crap meant I had an end point. But I had to make myself stop. The Simpsons trip helped with that.
The kids went to Enda's today with Ant asking me what I planned to do with my day. I had no idea but there was a vague suggestion of organising something. After breakfast I spent time blog hopping but eventually aimed for the playroom, to cuddle Yoda and empty a shelf or two.
I did fill a bin bag and a box for the charity shop but I felt I had made more mess than when I started. I did manage to get my sewing stuff into one place, though not in any order. That will come later. The trouble was I was sorting out the shelves that had teaching stuff on it. Now, admittedly, some of it was very old and outdated but I still felt odd adding stuff to the discard pile. I felt I was resigning myself to a lack of identity. I have no problem with my role as mum but it feels strange to be ridding myself of the trappings of my profession. I don't know whether to keep what seems to be the most important files just in case I need them when/if I choose to teach again or be totally ruthless with myself and assume the NZ system has no need of British resources.
I also managed to get all our NZ documents in one place so that says something!
We took a group trip to see the Simpson movie. It was, as expected, just a longer episode with fewer jokes but the boys ( 8 year olds) loved it.
The rat had a very formal funeral service, once we had got over the trauma of trying to dig a hole big enough to take the box. Roots and rocks made life difficult. We said a few words over the 'site' and Caitlin left a flower to mark the spot.
I also put my wedding dress on eBay. There must be major psychological value in that.
So you see it seems that I have achieved somethings today just lots of little things. My mind seems to be in one of its wandering modes. If I don't focus, or if I try to handle jobs ( like the playroom) with lots of potential, I can get overwhelmed and meltdown. Making sure I only tidied the room for one hour and filled one bag of crap meant I had an end point. But I had to make myself stop. The Simpsons trip helped with that.
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