Now that I can't drink because of my Alpha 1 antitrypsin deficiency..can't be bothered to explain it- google it, I am spending my drinking time ( yeah right) reading about personalities and temperaments. Elaine started me off by talking about learning styles and then about the 4 personality types. Having done some tests online and read a few books, it looks like I am Melancholy/phlegmatic.
Your personality is Melancholy Phlegmatic
Melancholy Strength:9 Weakness:15
60%
Phlegmatic Strength:7 Weakness:4
28%
Sanguine Strength:4 Weakness:0
10%
Choleric Strength:0 Weakness:1
3%
Weakness of a Melancholy
The Introvert | The Thinker | The Pessimist
The Melancholy's Emotions
Remembers the negatives
Moody and depressed
Enjoys being hurt
Has false humility
Off in another world
Low self-image
Has selective hearing
Self-centered
Too introspective
Guilt feelings
Persecution complex
Tends to hypochondria
The Melancholy As A Parent
Puts goals beyond reach
May discourage children
May be too meticulous
Becomes martyr
Sulks over disagreements
Puts guilt upon children
The Melancholy At Work
Not people oriented
depressed over imperfections
Chooses difficult work
Hesitant to start projects
Spends to much time planning
Prefers analysis to work
Self-deprecating
Hard to please
Standards often to high
Deep need for approval
The Melancholy As a Friend
Lives through others
Insecure socially
Withdrawn and remote
critical of others
Holds back affections
Dislikes those in opposition
Suspicious of people
Antagonistic and vengeful
Unforgiving
Full of contradictions
Skeptical of compliments
Strengths of a Melancholy
The Introvert | The Thinker | The Pessimist
The Melancholy's Emotions
Deep and thoughtfully
Analytical
Serious and purposeful
Genius prone
Talented and creative
Artistic or musical
Philosophical and poetic
appreciative of beauty
Sensitive to others
Self-sacrificing
Conscientious
Idealistic
The Melancholy As A Parent
Sets high standards
Wants everything done right
Keeps home in good order
Picks up after children
Sacrifices own will for others
Encourages scholarship and talent
The Melancholy At Work
Schedule oriented
Perfectionist, high standards
Detail conscious
Persistent and thorough
Orderly and organized
Neat and tidy
Economical
Sees the problems
Finds creative solutions
Needs to finish what he starts
Likes charts, graphs, figures, lists
The Melancholy As a Friend
Makes friends cautiously
Content to stay in background
Avoids causing attention
Faithful and devoted
Will listen to complaints
Can solve other's problems
Deep concern for other people
Moved to tears with compassion
Seeks ideal mate
Weaknesses of a Phlegmatic
The Introvert | The Watcher | The Pessimist
The Phlegmatic's Emotions
Unenthusiastic
Fearful and worried
Indecisive
Avoids responsibility
Quiet will of iron
Selfish
To shy and reticent
Too compromising
Self-righteous
The Phlegmatic As A Parent
Lax on discipline
Doesn't organize home
Takes life to easy
The Phlegmatic At Work
Not goal oriented
Lacks self motivation
Hard to get moving
Resents being pushed
Lazy and careless
Discourages others
Would rather watch
The Phlegmatic As a Friend
Dampens enthusiasm
Stays uninvolved
Is not exciting
Indifferent to plans
Judges others
Sarcastic and teasing
Resists change
Strengths of a Phlegmatic
The Introvert | The Watcher | The Pessimist
The Phlegmatic's Emotions
Low-key personality
Easygoing and relaxed
Calm, cool and collected
Patient well balanced
Consistent life
Quiet but witty
Sympathetic and kind
Keeps emotions hidden
Happily reconciled to life
All-purpose person
The Phlegmatic As A Parent
Makes a good parent
Takes time for the children
Is not in a hurry
Can take the good with the bad
Doesn't get upset easily
The Phlegmatic At Work
Competent and steady
Peaceful and agreeable
Has administrative ability
Mediates problems
Avoids conflicts
Good under pressure
Finds the easy way
The Phlegmatic As a Friend
Easy to get along with
Pleasant and enjoyable
Inoffensive
Good listener
Dry sense of humor
Enjoys watching people
Has many friends
Has compassion and concern
I particularly like the description of the person in this description, though I am so NOT tidy
The Melancholic / Phlegmatic
The melancholic-phlegmatic is tidier, more procedural and less flexible than the phlegmatic-melancholic. He may be slower to take on new projects, as the melancholic fear of new situations and tendency to perfectionism takes over. The double-dose of introversion, along with the melancholic tendency to negativity, makes it difficult for him to give compliments and make upbeat small talk. It also causes him to instinctively say “no” when he first hears a request. Others may perceive this as “snobbishness.” Unless the melancholic-phlegmatic is very comfortable, and is surrounded by understanding long-time friends, he may find himself somewhat isolated and alone, unable to warm up in a social gathering. He is less critical and less grudge-bearing than a pure melancholic or a melancholic-choleric. However, the tendency of the melancholic to dwell on things for a long time in their mind, combined with the sensitivity of the phlegmatic toward interpersonal relationships, can result in long-lasting hurts, an erosion of self-confidence and self-esteem, and even depression. Extremely sensitive and possessing a longing for the ideal (melancholic), they are also highly attentive to what others need or desire, through their phlegmatic aspect. This makes them more than usually susceptible to anxiety and a negative self-image
This temperament combination is highly driven to succeed—not for success’ sake alone, but because their melancholic nature is drawn to high ideals, and their phlegmatic side will have a strong desire to please. Thus, they are capable of long-range planning, organization, and attention to detail that makes them excellent and conscientious scholars. They are capable of pursuing highly idealistic goals, usually with long-term academic requirements, such as attaining their doctorate. They value their friendships, but can spend many hours alone reading or studying. They may have a tendency to hypochondria or to genuine physical weaknesses, as well as a tendency to timidity and anxiety, especially about new activities or ventures.
One melancholic-phlegmatic we know is highly organized, critical, slow, and dogmatically unforgiving, yet reveals her phlegmatic aspect in her intense discomfort with confrontation (unless she is very at ease among the warring members) and in her strong relationships with her friends. You wouldn’t guess that she is so devoted to her friends, however, because true to her melancholic nature she rarely initiates contact with them – they always have to call her first. A tendency to avoid the stresses of social interaction by spending overmuch time alone—whether in scholarly pursuits or reading for relaxation—is something that melancholic-phlegmatics need to watch out for.
I am not sure what all this means ( though the phlegmatic in m would say that!!) I am becoming aware of how negatively I talk about myself and I am attempting to change that behaviour in myself. It is the spaghetti which is not cooking properly not me that is a bad chef!
According to another test I come out as a INFJ ( on the Jung Typology test)
Idealist Portrait of the Counselor (INFJ)
Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.
Counselors are scarce, little more than one percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people's feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.
Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another's emotions or intentions - good or evil - even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others' feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor's remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.
Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guiness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ).
AND THEN TODAY"S QUOTE OF THE DAY SAYS:
We are what we believe we are.
C. S. Lewis
Now I am really confused. I mean the phlegmatic in me can't decide what I want to be and the melancholic will be dissatisfied anyway
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Friday, August 01, 2008
Does this count as a new year
It is August the first and we are in the middle of Winter. I suppose I figure it could be the equivalent of New Year’s Day. Trouble is with winter comes the deep dark moods, made all the worse by the almost constant rain and a certain despondency about our situation.
I have had to increase my medication to try and ward off the worst of the shadows, shadows which saw me sitting at the lower Nihotupu Dam contemplating the drop.I seem to be spending a lot of time at the doctors as , although I am physically fine, I have an obsessive locum doctor who is adamant I have something serious. Haematuria has led to the possibility of gallstones and kidney disease and a blood test which discounted all those serious conditions has raised the possibility of chronic liver or heart disease. The blood test seems to have suggested I have a higher risk of these rather than any evidence of their presence! But I still need to go and see her at $37 a time!
I am having difficulty figuring out who I am right now. I'm not really a teacher though I feel obliged to take any relief work to make sure they keep employing me. My best friends tend to be teachers, Elaine and Graham, both of whom have experience of mental illness. We can support each other well but there still feel I don't want to burden other people. I benefit from supporting others, listening to their issues and concerns as it makes me feel I am not alone but I still need to be strong which takes it out of me.
I am trying to support everyone at home too which it rather difficult at present. The kids are wonderful and clever and vivacious and doing so well at school, but C seems to need a lot of support. She has so much on, with all the activities and responsibilities she has, but she is still a little girl at the end of the day, without the experience of having been in the school for years. She has struggled this week with expectations this week, particularly with her presentation. I so don't agree with the kiwi obsession with making things look pretty. In England colouring-in was classed as wasted time and content mattered more than how it looked. Anton accused me of being selfish for worrying about pushing her into so many activities and making her stressed. I have helped her with her wallchart and her competition essay, and her colouring inbut now I am not sure whether I have done too much. Anton says it is good for her to make mistakes and be made to do things again but I worry that she feels overwhelmed by all the tasks she needs to do. I probably worry to much but then I am starting to think I am neglecting Reuben. When I am working with Caitlin, he is usually on the computer or the wii or the xbox. I know we are encouraging him to do gym, tennis and now kung fu but I don't want him spending so much time in a digital world.
I have had to increase my medication to try and ward off the worst of the shadows, shadows which saw me sitting at the lower Nihotupu Dam contemplating the drop.I seem to be spending a lot of time at the doctors as , although I am physically fine, I have an obsessive locum doctor who is adamant I have something serious. Haematuria has led to the possibility of gallstones and kidney disease and a blood test which discounted all those serious conditions has raised the possibility of chronic liver or heart disease. The blood test seems to have suggested I have a higher risk of these rather than any evidence of their presence! But I still need to go and see her at $37 a time!
I am having difficulty figuring out who I am right now. I'm not really a teacher though I feel obliged to take any relief work to make sure they keep employing me. My best friends tend to be teachers, Elaine and Graham, both of whom have experience of mental illness. We can support each other well but there still feel I don't want to burden other people. I benefit from supporting others, listening to their issues and concerns as it makes me feel I am not alone but I still need to be strong which takes it out of me.
I am trying to support everyone at home too which it rather difficult at present. The kids are wonderful and clever and vivacious and doing so well at school, but C seems to need a lot of support. She has so much on, with all the activities and responsibilities she has, but she is still a little girl at the end of the day, without the experience of having been in the school for years. She has struggled this week with expectations this week, particularly with her presentation. I so don't agree with the kiwi obsession with making things look pretty. In England colouring-in was classed as wasted time and content mattered more than how it looked. Anton accused me of being selfish for worrying about pushing her into so many activities and making her stressed. I have helped her with her wallchart and her competition essay, and her colouring inbut now I am not sure whether I have done too much. Anton says it is good for her to make mistakes and be made to do things again but I worry that she feels overwhelmed by all the tasks she needs to do. I probably worry to much but then I am starting to think I am neglecting Reuben. When I am working with Caitlin, he is usually on the computer or the wii or the xbox. I know we are encouraging him to do gym, tennis and now kung fu but I don't want him spending so much time in a digital world.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Choice
Anton used an interesting word last night 'Choice'. He was doing some extras work for Background talent and had been out from 7 am. It was now 6pm and he was ringing me to say that there was no end in sight to the days filming. 'I'm sorry he said but I have no choice really!'.
It turned out that the fact that he was earning money meant he had no choice but to take the job, on a national holiday, rather than spending the time with his children. When he rang at 9pm to say he would away till at least midnight and could I give the kids a cuddle, he added 'tell Caitlin I am sorry but I have no choice". I found myself saying that I couldn't explain that one to a ten year, even one as grown up as C, because he DID have a choice. He could say no! C, by this time was a little upset that she could not say good night to her dad. She left him a note on her new wipe board which read 'I know it is dark but I want you to know I love you'.
Last week she asked him why he was choosing to play music rather than spend time with her and Roo. His answer was that he has interests too! Needless to say she was upset by this and told me about it a few days later. Ant explained when I asked him about it that he had already played netball with her and what more does she want. In a few short years she will not choose to spend time with her dad; I think he needs to appreciate that fact a little more.
Frankly he only gets to choose to these things because I let him. Or rather I have to look after the kids as he chooses to go out. And my choice therefore is, do we stay in or do we go out? I hit rock bottom at the weekend, owing to neglecting the drugs I think, but I am also aware of feeling angry, undervalued and so lacking in self confidence it is untrue.
I think I feel that I has established myself fairly well in the Uk before we left and I am having to start from scratch. Elleray was OK but I had got the opportunity to work at St Martins'. In fact there was a job opening for me. Did I choose to give that up? Strikes me that the last few moves we have done have been detrimental to my way of life. There is nothing wrong with being a mum, you understand, it is just that I am not sure exactly what I want now. Being a mum is great but as the great Edmina Curry said ' I didn't get this education to clean toilets!' I have spent the last hour cleaning up diarrhoea caused by a teething dog, successfully I might add but I now feel guilty because I am writing this and not cleaning something else. I feel that there should be some obvious sign that I have spent the day fruitfully, but if the house isn't clean or I haven't earned money then it is not important.
I don't want to be 'one of the mums'. Playing footie is cool and coaching the netball is fun ( when will we start winning I wonder?) and I love helping the kids with whatever they have to do. I am just not sure where I am. Is this a midlife crisis? I mean I have supposedly achieved a lot over the last 40 years...Oxford, W&L, successful teacher, marathon runner, great kids, parachute jump, ICT stuff, being creative, moving to the Lakes and here. Yet here seems to be rather aimless. I am conscious of putting on weight, because I am so angry and sad; I'm not exercising... I can't imagine running to the post box let alone a marathon right now. Where did my motivation go? Why do I feel so lost?
I have just bought a book ( Don't tell Ant as books are expensive over here). It is entitled 'short, fat chick to marathon runner'. It's about a radio presenter who gets sponsored to do the Auckland Marathon and her 'journey'. It is rather inspiring,largely coz she had just turned 40 and I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS! But do I want it enough to choose to do something for me?
I have a doctors appointment on Thursday after school, a follow up to the ultrasound scan. I'll have to take since I have no idea how long it will take and Ant is working...or rather he is taking the day off to do a commercial. He decided to say 'yes' to that role a few days after I asked him if he could come home early, or meet me at the hospital at 5.30 so that he could look after the kids. He said he couldn't. I figured 'ah well' until I mentioned it to a friend who went spare. Health versus money? He says he shows his devotion to me by letting me have the dog. I think I 'd rather he held my hand at the hospital but still!
I know I am down,or I wouldn't be writing on THIS blog. I know I'll feel better tomorrow ( maybe) but I also know that this feeling of anger and frustration isn't going away. Maybe if I try to run it will help me feel better. I am aware I have been neglecting my strategies but then someone has to cook tea, take the kids to tennis, walk the dog ( don't mind that one), make sure his trousers are ironed...
It turned out that the fact that he was earning money meant he had no choice but to take the job, on a national holiday, rather than spending the time with his children. When he rang at 9pm to say he would away till at least midnight and could I give the kids a cuddle, he added 'tell Caitlin I am sorry but I have no choice". I found myself saying that I couldn't explain that one to a ten year, even one as grown up as C, because he DID have a choice. He could say no! C, by this time was a little upset that she could not say good night to her dad. She left him a note on her new wipe board which read 'I know it is dark but I want you to know I love you'.
Last week she asked him why he was choosing to play music rather than spend time with her and Roo. His answer was that he has interests too! Needless to say she was upset by this and told me about it a few days later. Ant explained when I asked him about it that he had already played netball with her and what more does she want. In a few short years she will not choose to spend time with her dad; I think he needs to appreciate that fact a little more.
Frankly he only gets to choose to these things because I let him. Or rather I have to look after the kids as he chooses to go out. And my choice therefore is, do we stay in or do we go out? I hit rock bottom at the weekend, owing to neglecting the drugs I think, but I am also aware of feeling angry, undervalued and so lacking in self confidence it is untrue.
I think I feel that I has established myself fairly well in the Uk before we left and I am having to start from scratch. Elleray was OK but I had got the opportunity to work at St Martins'. In fact there was a job opening for me. Did I choose to give that up? Strikes me that the last few moves we have done have been detrimental to my way of life. There is nothing wrong with being a mum, you understand, it is just that I am not sure exactly what I want now. Being a mum is great but as the great Edmina Curry said ' I didn't get this education to clean toilets!' I have spent the last hour cleaning up diarrhoea caused by a teething dog, successfully I might add but I now feel guilty because I am writing this and not cleaning something else. I feel that there should be some obvious sign that I have spent the day fruitfully, but if the house isn't clean or I haven't earned money then it is not important.
I don't want to be 'one of the mums'. Playing footie is cool and coaching the netball is fun ( when will we start winning I wonder?) and I love helping the kids with whatever they have to do. I am just not sure where I am. Is this a midlife crisis? I mean I have supposedly achieved a lot over the last 40 years...Oxford, W&L, successful teacher, marathon runner, great kids, parachute jump, ICT stuff, being creative, moving to the Lakes and here. Yet here seems to be rather aimless. I am conscious of putting on weight, because I am so angry and sad; I'm not exercising... I can't imagine running to the post box let alone a marathon right now. Where did my motivation go? Why do I feel so lost?
I have just bought a book ( Don't tell Ant as books are expensive over here). It is entitled 'short, fat chick to marathon runner'. It's about a radio presenter who gets sponsored to do the Auckland Marathon and her 'journey'. It is rather inspiring,largely coz she had just turned 40 and I KNOW HOW SHE FEELS! But do I want it enough to choose to do something for me?
I have a doctors appointment on Thursday after school, a follow up to the ultrasound scan. I'll have to take since I have no idea how long it will take and Ant is working...or rather he is taking the day off to do a commercial. He decided to say 'yes' to that role a few days after I asked him if he could come home early, or meet me at the hospital at 5.30 so that he could look after the kids. He said he couldn't. I figured 'ah well' until I mentioned it to a friend who went spare. Health versus money? He says he shows his devotion to me by letting me have the dog. I think I 'd rather he held my hand at the hospital but still!
I know I am down,or I wouldn't be writing on THIS blog. I know I'll feel better tomorrow ( maybe) but I also know that this feeling of anger and frustration isn't going away. Maybe if I try to run it will help me feel better. I am aware I have been neglecting my strategies but then someone has to cook tea, take the kids to tennis, walk the dog ( don't mind that one), make sure his trousers are ironed...
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Work in progress
This is a short note which will be fleshed out later
I have to go and see a specialist about my haematuria. The ultrasound was clear, no gallstones or kidney stones but the doctor is still concerned. As the ultrasound showed nothing I am now a little worried by what it might be.
Had a nice day at Julia's, supposed to be just for morning tea but stayed for lunch.
Donna came to pick up Ruby from a sleepover with C and saw some suspicious men driving away from Ginny's. We went to investigate and found the place burgled.
Still the usual worries about money, though A has arranged to take me out for dinner on Saturday. I think we need some us time!
I have to go and see a specialist about my haematuria. The ultrasound was clear, no gallstones or kidney stones but the doctor is still concerned. As the ultrasound showed nothing I am now a little worried by what it might be.
Had a nice day at Julia's, supposed to be just for morning tea but stayed for lunch.
Donna came to pick up Ruby from a sleepover with C and saw some suspicious men driving away from Ginny's. We went to investigate and found the place burgled.
Still the usual worries about money, though A has arranged to take me out for dinner on Saturday. I think we need some us time!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Feeling overwhelmed
We are trying to keep everything together today. Had a bit of a meltdown, over camping equipment, bit embarrassing really. I think Ant realised how difficult we were all finding things lately, him not talking to us, moaning about money then spending thousands, not joining in with the family, never reading the bedtime story. We all had a good cry, in the middle of a camping shop, which confused the hell out of the assistant who thought it was her fault.
Silly thing was I had no intention of spending thousands on stuff for the girls camping trip. Trade me is good but because he doesn't talk to me he didn't realise I am good at doing things on the cheap. He finally said that his illness took more out of him than he is ready to admit and that worrying about money is his default setting ( my words). The last two times we have been shopping, he left his wallet at home so I had to physically pay for everything.
Anyway, today is another day and I have found lots of free things to do, if only to make a point! Titirangi music festival is on and there are bands playing in the street. I am sure we can afford the price of a coffee!
Here are some pictures to cheer everyone up.
Silly thing was I had no intention of spending thousands on stuff for the girls camping trip. Trade me is good but because he doesn't talk to me he didn't realise I am good at doing things on the cheap. He finally said that his illness took more out of him than he is ready to admit and that worrying about money is his default setting ( my words). The last two times we have been shopping, he left his wallet at home so I had to physically pay for everything.
Anyway, today is another day and I have found lots of free things to do, if only to make a point! Titirangi music festival is on and there are bands playing in the street. I am sure we can afford the price of a coffee!
Here are some pictures to cheer everyone up.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Not such a good week
This week is proving difficult. I am feeling a bit lost and down. I think the problem is that I can see how many jobs there are around here that need doing and I just get overwhelmed. It's a head thing. There seem to be too many obstacles too..Ant bought a 'cheap' step ladder which won't reach to the top of C's wall so I got already to achieve something and then couldn't. The cleaning just seems endless, so does the washing and it takes forever if I need to get something from the shops. Not being organised and living in the back of beyond has taken its toll this week...at least Molly is sleeping so I can't blame her.
Ant is down too though won't say why. Even when he's home I hardly see him, he's always on the computer doing cookie stuff or writing his book...none of which is making him happy. And if he says 'well I go to work!'once more I think I will hit him!
Hopefully the weekend will help. The rest of the family has said they will cook on Saturdays...remains to be seen! We need to make more plans to do stuff otherwise the time just drifts and we end up doing very little.
New Zealand isn't feeling so idyllic today, inspite of the sunshine!
Ant is down too though won't say why. Even when he's home I hardly see him, he's always on the computer doing cookie stuff or writing his book...none of which is making him happy. And if he says 'well I go to work!'once more I think I will hit him!
Hopefully the weekend will help. The rest of the family has said they will cook on Saturdays...remains to be seen! We need to make more plans to do stuff otherwise the time just drifts and we end up doing very little.
New Zealand isn't feeling so idyllic today, inspite of the sunshine!
Friday, March 21, 2008
It's easier to update this blog than the family one
So I have Molly lying on my lap having been in her crate from 11pm til 6.30 am. Not coz she slept through the night you understand but because I LOCKED HER IN HER CRATE WITH A DUVET OVER IT IN THE ROOM FURTHEST AWAY FROM ME !!! I was exhausted last night and desperately in need of sleep!
She is the most adorable puppy I think I have ever met, which is odd considering I had discounted her when we went to visit the litter. She is very cuddlesome, follows me round the house, charms everyone ( except maybe Anton) and gives lovely spaniel kisses. I just wish she would not want to play at 3am.
I can't wait til the day she can go out for a walk. April 5th I think is W Day as she will have had her last vaccination. C and I are going on a mum and daughters' tramping weekend so I hope Roo will enjoy his privileged position and take her out!
It looks like the cookie business might actually amount to something. The oven is working ( well) and Shaun, who is on the Board of Trustees at school and organises trail runs, has invited Anton to provide cookies for the next one, in Henderson, on April 13th ( about 400 cookies). I do so hope this works out. Ant has been very down lately, especially over work, though I am sure jet lag has something to do with it. He seems to think that he SHOULD have a job to match his lifestyle, although I pointed out that most kiwis work so they can enjoy the lifestyle, they don't necessarily work on something that is part of it ( does that make sense?). I do hope he won't be disappointed. I think the cookies could be physically harder than his current job. You can, after all, only make so many cookies in a given time...sleepless nights anyone?
Having a puppy is good for my lifestyle though. Getting up early means I can get my emailling done before everyone else gets up and cuddle time is good for reading. I have just finished " The Tenderness of Wolves' that book set in Canada, written by someone who never left the British library. Frankly you don't need to visit a snowy wasteland to be able to write about it. It felt a bit like 'Brokeback Mountain' meets' Call of the Wild', but with too many characters. Easy to read however but I didn't find myself caring for any of the characters.
I have also read 'The concise Chinese English dictionary for Lovers' which was excellent! It takes the form of a notebook written by a Chinese girl who comes to England to attend an English Language college. It is written in deliberately poor english which improves as the story develops. It alleges to be about the misunderstandings and misconceptions of two cultures, but could as easily be about sexes, ages, or outlooks. Just lovely.
Ant is writing a book ( another lifestyle choice). It's rather good so far!
It seems we have slipped into very stereotypical roles. He the breadwinner, me the mom. I was starting to resent all the jobs I have to do, especially when he suggests another task like doing the paperwork ( the Admin) or mowing the lawn. The kids have been arguing about who does which jobs and most often so we were going to keep a record. Maybe we should all do that and see where the balance lies. I think I have problems with having to remind people to do their tasks, like watering the plants. It takes as much effort to remember as it does to do the bloody thing so I sometimes think I should just do it myself...but then what would be the point in that? At least the dog makes me stop occasionally, and just sit. A lot like having a baby really!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Newly read
Emotionally Weird by Kate Atkinson:
A mother and daughter sit in a house on a Scottish Island recounting interesting times. Nora, the mother ( or is she) explains about Effie's ancestors whilst Effie describes her time at Dundee University on an English course. It is interspersed with snippets of the creative writing produced by the students, asides from Nora and a gamut of interesting characters- the dotty professor, the anarchic family, a private detective, a yellow dog and the inhabitants of a commune.
I have read this twice and I am not entirely sure I get it. It doesn't feel as well written as her other books- Behind the scenes at the museum and Case Histories ( which I really like).
Life on the Refrigerator Door by Alice Kuipers: a series of post it notes etc left on the refrigerator as a conversation between a mum and her 15 year old daughter during a particularly difficult few months. I bought it for Caitlin and it's no surprise she was affected by it. It is slightly grown up for her and outlines the selfishness of both characters, though for majorly different reasons. I read it in about an hour and was very moved by it!
I am currently reading a weighty tome called Underworld by Don De Lillo from the 1001 books list. It is huge but beautifully written so is hardly arduous, although I can't exactly carry it around with me in my back pocket. I feel I ought to make a brief note on each chapter so I don't lose the thread and so I can remember more of the plot when I'm tired.
I now have two weeks' work starting Monday so no time off! Ho hum
A mother and daughter sit in a house on a Scottish Island recounting interesting times. Nora, the mother ( or is she) explains about Effie's ancestors whilst Effie describes her time at Dundee University on an English course. It is interspersed with snippets of the creative writing produced by the students, asides from Nora and a gamut of interesting characters- the dotty professor, the anarchic family, a private detective, a yellow dog and the inhabitants of a commune.
I have read this twice and I am not entirely sure I get it. It doesn't feel as well written as her other books- Behind the scenes at the museum and Case Histories ( which I really like).
Life on the Refrigerator Door by Alice Kuipers: a series of post it notes etc left on the refrigerator as a conversation between a mum and her 15 year old daughter during a particularly difficult few months. I bought it for Caitlin and it's no surprise she was affected by it. It is slightly grown up for her and outlines the selfishness of both characters, though for majorly different reasons. I read it in about an hour and was very moved by it!
I am currently reading a weighty tome called Underworld by Don De Lillo from the 1001 books list. It is huge but beautifully written so is hardly arduous, although I can't exactly carry it around with me in my back pocket. I feel I ought to make a brief note on each chapter so I don't lose the thread and so I can remember more of the plot when I'm tired.
I now have two weeks' work starting Monday so no time off! Ho hum
Monday, January 28, 2008
Casino Royale
First new book from the 1001.
Figured I'd pick a short one so I could get the score up to 74. I am aiming for 100 before I reconsider this as a bad idea. Next comes DeLillo and Auster.
Casino Royale was an interesting read, very much of its time. Bond is a misogynist dinosaur ( as quoth M to Pierce Brosnan) of the 1940's. Vesper comes across as she did in the film and the torture scene was horrifying, even more so than the film. Is it a good idea to read a book after you've seen the film? Made it easier to concentrate on the character nuances and the paucity of language.
C is reading Northern Lights ( after she saw the film). She is comparing it to the film and the film is losing!
Figured I'd pick a short one so I could get the score up to 74. I am aiming for 100 before I reconsider this as a bad idea. Next comes DeLillo and Auster.
Casino Royale was an interesting read, very much of its time. Bond is a misogynist dinosaur ( as quoth M to Pierce Brosnan) of the 1940's. Vesper comes across as she did in the film and the torture scene was horrifying, even more so than the film. Is it a good idea to read a book after you've seen the film? Made it easier to concentrate on the character nuances and the paucity of language.
C is reading Northern Lights ( after she saw the film). She is comparing it to the film and the film is losing!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Books
I have another blog, entitled the Library of my Life, which was intended as a review of books I had read, as when I am in a hyper or dark mood, I tend to struggle to read or forget what I've written. A sort of aide memoire I guess. I haven't been very good at keeping it up. If two blogs are hard to do, three are impossible. So I think I shall amalgamate it into this blog, since it is integral to my life as a Manic.
I found another blog entitled 'So many books, so little time". The blogger/bloggerine/bloggette gets involved in lots of reading challenges and posts lots of lists, like the 1000 books you must read in your lifetime.
I just found her marking scheme ( out of 10) which I loved.
10 One of the best, worth adding to my permanent collection
9 Compelling, wonderful, should force strangers to read this
8 Very good, happy I read it
7 Quite good actually
6 Okay plus, good, but not so remarkable
5 Okay, pleasant enough but entirely forgettable
4 I read this under duress or a sense of obligation to the group
3 Why did I bother?
2 I read this only due to lack of nearby cereal boxes
1 Painful, but continued reading anyway
0 Despicable, vile; continued reading to burn off purgatory time
(Created by Jan T.)
I think I'll stick some more lists on the sidebar, just so I can remember to read or feel inspired.
At present life is pretty good. The sun is shining, the washing is dry, the drugs seem to be working and the children are quiet (friends round and no arguments). We have had visitors from the UK ( Claire and Graham) and it was lovely to share our bit of paradise with them. They have been touring the country for two months and are about to fly back to Blighty, poor things. I sometimes fear having people around when my head is off but they are so easy to talk to and relaxed with a silence.
Perhaps I should add a currently reading to the blog too, for more inspiration?
I found another blog entitled 'So many books, so little time". The blogger/bloggerine/bloggette gets involved in lots of reading challenges and posts lots of lists, like the 1000 books you must read in your lifetime.
I just found her marking scheme ( out of 10) which I loved.
10 One of the best, worth adding to my permanent collection
9 Compelling, wonderful, should force strangers to read this
8 Very good, happy I read it
7 Quite good actually
6 Okay plus, good, but not so remarkable
5 Okay, pleasant enough but entirely forgettable
4 I read this under duress or a sense of obligation to the group
3 Why did I bother?
2 I read this only due to lack of nearby cereal boxes
1 Painful, but continued reading anyway
0 Despicable, vile; continued reading to burn off purgatory time
(Created by Jan T.)
I think I'll stick some more lists on the sidebar, just so I can remember to read or feel inspired.
At present life is pretty good. The sun is shining, the washing is dry, the drugs seem to be working and the children are quiet (friends round and no arguments). We have had visitors from the UK ( Claire and Graham) and it was lovely to share our bit of paradise with them. They have been touring the country for two months and are about to fly back to Blighty, poor things. I sometimes fear having people around when my head is off but they are so easy to talk to and relaxed with a silence.
Perhaps I should add a currently reading to the blog too, for more inspiration?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Happy New Year!!!! 2008
It's difficult to keep up two blogs. I have a moral obligation to write the family one- antandjo.blogspot.com- as all the family read it and are desperate for information and pictures of the kids. I have tried getting the rest of the family to do it but it requires motivation, not something an eight year old has for anything that does not involve a trampoline or a computer game.
Trouble is I can't be honest on the family blog. If I feel shit I have to write that everything is fab otherwise the parents will fret. Christmas has been far from easy, although enjoyable for the most part. My head has been off the lines and Ant says he saw it coming but didn't do or say anything so I sort of blame him for my meltdown. He's just spent thousands on a jetski which at best can cater for two of the family and can't understand why I'm not enthusiastic. We could have bought 10 kayaks for the same price! He winges when I buy a coffee and then splurges!
He hates his job, wants to jack it all and bake cookies ( a la Ben) and then what? I guess I feel that he has let us down. He brought us here, with promises... a trampoline (yes), a spa pool ( yes), a great house ( yes), family time ( hm), a baby ( a big no), a dog ( probably a no). We are having to deal with him being unhappy and not be able to feel frustrated because if you do he hits back. Maybe I am just finding being 'just a mum' less than fulfilling, but I don't seem to stop. This is the first minute I have had to myself for about a week and I'll be in trouble for spending too long on the net, when I should be in bed.
The kids and I are enjoying our holiday. We have our roles, they empty the dishwasher while I hang out washing, then we play, shop, go to the beach, have an adventure, play with the cats, water the plants.
Ant seems jealous of my situation, having made friends with a few of the moms, but it's difficult starting again. I miss having people around who know when I'm starting to gabble and can just say 'stop', who don't expect too much of me, who know they have to ring me, because I could be having a bad day. I miss the possibility of seeing people I love, however fleetingly. Email is fine but I wish some one would just walk through the door and say 'hey'.
I wish my life was as simple as the kittens. They are curled up beside me at midnight, grooming each other, or could that be play fighting. They eat, sleep, purr, run, poop and look cute.
Oh yeah my new year's resolution...to weigh less than a dog! Storm is a big dog ( Newfoundland) but I need to weigh less than her. Well it's good to have an aim.
Been sitting watching the Big Chill as I have been ironing and blogging. Perhaps it struck a nerve or perhaps I chose to watch it for familiar reasons.
Trouble is I can't be honest on the family blog. If I feel shit I have to write that everything is fab otherwise the parents will fret. Christmas has been far from easy, although enjoyable for the most part. My head has been off the lines and Ant says he saw it coming but didn't do or say anything so I sort of blame him for my meltdown. He's just spent thousands on a jetski which at best can cater for two of the family and can't understand why I'm not enthusiastic. We could have bought 10 kayaks for the same price! He winges when I buy a coffee and then splurges!
He hates his job, wants to jack it all and bake cookies ( a la Ben) and then what? I guess I feel that he has let us down. He brought us here, with promises... a trampoline (yes), a spa pool ( yes), a great house ( yes), family time ( hm), a baby ( a big no), a dog ( probably a no). We are having to deal with him being unhappy and not be able to feel frustrated because if you do he hits back. Maybe I am just finding being 'just a mum' less than fulfilling, but I don't seem to stop. This is the first minute I have had to myself for about a week and I'll be in trouble for spending too long on the net, when I should be in bed.
The kids and I are enjoying our holiday. We have our roles, they empty the dishwasher while I hang out washing, then we play, shop, go to the beach, have an adventure, play with the cats, water the plants.
Ant seems jealous of my situation, having made friends with a few of the moms, but it's difficult starting again. I miss having people around who know when I'm starting to gabble and can just say 'stop', who don't expect too much of me, who know they have to ring me, because I could be having a bad day. I miss the possibility of seeing people I love, however fleetingly. Email is fine but I wish some one would just walk through the door and say 'hey'.
I wish my life was as simple as the kittens. They are curled up beside me at midnight, grooming each other, or could that be play fighting. They eat, sleep, purr, run, poop and look cute.
Oh yeah my new year's resolution...to weigh less than a dog! Storm is a big dog ( Newfoundland) but I need to weigh less than her. Well it's good to have an aim.
Been sitting watching the Big Chill as I have been ironing and blogging. Perhaps it struck a nerve or perhaps I chose to watch it for familiar reasons.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Ahhh Internet addiction
23
So very nearly a class full then!!
Looking for payday loan?
So very nearly a class full then!!
| What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Dedicated Reader You are always trying to find the time to get back to your book. You are convinced that the world would be a much better place if only everyone read more. | |
| Literate Good Citizen | |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm | |
| Book Snob | |
| Fad Reader | |
| Non-Reader | |
| What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz | |
Three months and counting
We have been in NZ now for exactly three months. We touched down in Auckland at 6am September 16th and it is now 7pm December 16th.
Such a lot has happened: in short. Two weeks spent living in a tiny apartment in Torbay, dealing with jetlag, ants and house hunting. We thought we had found the perfect place ( a beautiful villa in Deidre Place in Laingholm) but the building report put us off. The next place we liked the building inspector didn't even bother to look at it as he knew the place and said 'walk away!'. Just as well as we have found a slice of heaven. Two weeks ago we moved into a six bedroomed ( room for visitors) brick and tile gem in a place called Parau, close to the kids' school, next to a beach and tennis courts, down a peaceful little road....
So the story so far. We looked at nearly 60 houses, maybe more until we found this one and even then it was fraught with problems. The council here has to agree everything in triplicate before you can even think about changing anything in a house. Think planning permission but for knocking in a nail or straightening a picture. Suffice it to say quite a bit of this house is 'illegal' but when you are in love you overlook such things.
Looking back the first two weeks were very stressful and we tried to do too much, finding houses, cars, our way around. We fell on our feet with regards to accommodation. The house we were warned off is owned by a lovely girl called Rachel and she lives there with her two toddlers, Chloe (1) and Ben ( a very loud 2). she'd bought the house with another couple four months previously but they'd moved out just before the birth of their second child and because their first and Ben didn't get on. They needed some way of covering the mortgage and Rachel suggested that we move in. Although far from ideal, we had a roof over our heads.
I am convinced the house had sick building syndrome. Everyone was ill, including Reuben! It was probably due to damp and to a lack of a good night's sleep!
On the plus side, we found the children a delightful school, Laingholm Primary- The greatest little school in the Universe, run by a head who understands that school should be fun and by an incredibly dedicated staff. Caitlin has the remarkable Miss W ( Wolstenholme) whilst Roo is with the very young Miss Guertz. Both have found their feet quickly- especially Caitlin and both have made some very good friends! I have been doing a bit of relief work there. I'm known as Mrs A and apparantly I'm 'cool!" I think that means a pushover though Room 14, the class from hell, have grown on me over the weeks!
The high spots of our first three months ( I use the term loosely)
The burglary; I met three strapping men coming out of our shared house, with Rachel's tv in the back of their car. I'm not sure what came over me but I tried to block them in the drive with my car but I got myself rather man handled and they managed to push my car out of the way. We reckon they'd only been in the house for five minutes and only took a tv a dvd player and probably one of our ds's ( we may have just misplaced it). The police came, the helicopter came out, the SOCO arrived three days later(!!!!), we all had to be fingerprinted ( in the cells) and I had to look at mug shots. Exciting really but a bit time concuming and no conclusion yet.
New cars! I have a blue RAV4 and Ant has a white Toyota MRS ( old ones but hey). He needed a boy toy for the many miles he was going to be travelling every day.
The thermal pools at Waiwera. Fantastic hot thermal pool resort, just the thing for over coming jetlag, including a pool with a cinema screen. Child Heaven!
Anton starting work; His first day was spent drumming and walking in the bush ( team building) His second day started with a formal Maori ceremony where we passed him over to the care of his workplace. Lots of nose rubbing and Maori chanting. Sadly work hasn't quite lived up to his expectations.
Reuben mastering the monkey bars in the school playground.
Roo never wearing any shoes
Caitlin getting to the final of the school speech competition with an oratory on 'Books'! And the semis of the geeral knowledge when most of the questions were on New Zealand
Both of them being fantastic tennis players, and making huge progress in their tennis lessons!
Guy Fawkes night in the rain
Rotorua; Ant was at a conference so we spent the previous weekend there. Hot springs and geysers in the middle of a city centre park. Phemonenal pools of sulphur, the smell of rotten eggs and one of the best brunches in the world (At the Fat dog cafe).
Going to the Netball world Cup competition at our local stadium, and meeting the English Team and getting C's ball signed.
Kitting out Roo's bedroom for under $150 dollars using Trademe ( like eBay).
Finding furniture from unlikely sources ( garage sales, Sally Army). Caitlin's Mackintosh chair is a major find.
The new spa, trampoline and barbeque...well why else are we here!
Ladies football at Laingholm on Tuesday nights. All that time spent watching John Terry was not in vain.
The container arriving and having all our stuff around us, after three months of living out of suitcases.
Putting up the Christmas tree after spending the day on the beach at Whatipu.
Watching Gok on Friday nights.
Caitlin being addicted to Shortland Street!
Such a lot has happened: in short. Two weeks spent living in a tiny apartment in Torbay, dealing with jetlag, ants and house hunting. We thought we had found the perfect place ( a beautiful villa in Deidre Place in Laingholm) but the building report put us off. The next place we liked the building inspector didn't even bother to look at it as he knew the place and said 'walk away!'. Just as well as we have found a slice of heaven. Two weeks ago we moved into a six bedroomed ( room for visitors) brick and tile gem in a place called Parau, close to the kids' school, next to a beach and tennis courts, down a peaceful little road....
So the story so far. We looked at nearly 60 houses, maybe more until we found this one and even then it was fraught with problems. The council here has to agree everything in triplicate before you can even think about changing anything in a house. Think planning permission but for knocking in a nail or straightening a picture. Suffice it to say quite a bit of this house is 'illegal' but when you are in love you overlook such things.
Looking back the first two weeks were very stressful and we tried to do too much, finding houses, cars, our way around. We fell on our feet with regards to accommodation. The house we were warned off is owned by a lovely girl called Rachel and she lives there with her two toddlers, Chloe (1) and Ben ( a very loud 2). she'd bought the house with another couple four months previously but they'd moved out just before the birth of their second child and because their first and Ben didn't get on. They needed some way of covering the mortgage and Rachel suggested that we move in. Although far from ideal, we had a roof over our heads.
I am convinced the house had sick building syndrome. Everyone was ill, including Reuben! It was probably due to damp and to a lack of a good night's sleep!
On the plus side, we found the children a delightful school, Laingholm Primary- The greatest little school in the Universe, run by a head who understands that school should be fun and by an incredibly dedicated staff. Caitlin has the remarkable Miss W ( Wolstenholme) whilst Roo is with the very young Miss Guertz. Both have found their feet quickly- especially Caitlin and both have made some very good friends! I have been doing a bit of relief work there. I'm known as Mrs A and apparantly I'm 'cool!" I think that means a pushover though Room 14, the class from hell, have grown on me over the weeks!
The high spots of our first three months ( I use the term loosely)
The burglary; I met three strapping men coming out of our shared house, with Rachel's tv in the back of their car. I'm not sure what came over me but I tried to block them in the drive with my car but I got myself rather man handled and they managed to push my car out of the way. We reckon they'd only been in the house for five minutes and only took a tv a dvd player and probably one of our ds's ( we may have just misplaced it). The police came, the helicopter came out, the SOCO arrived three days later(!!!!), we all had to be fingerprinted ( in the cells) and I had to look at mug shots. Exciting really but a bit time concuming and no conclusion yet.
New cars! I have a blue RAV4 and Ant has a white Toyota MRS ( old ones but hey). He needed a boy toy for the many miles he was going to be travelling every day.
The thermal pools at Waiwera. Fantastic hot thermal pool resort, just the thing for over coming jetlag, including a pool with a cinema screen. Child Heaven!
Anton starting work; His first day was spent drumming and walking in the bush ( team building) His second day started with a formal Maori ceremony where we passed him over to the care of his workplace. Lots of nose rubbing and Maori chanting. Sadly work hasn't quite lived up to his expectations.
Reuben mastering the monkey bars in the school playground.
Roo never wearing any shoes
Caitlin getting to the final of the school speech competition with an oratory on 'Books'! And the semis of the geeral knowledge when most of the questions were on New Zealand
Both of them being fantastic tennis players, and making huge progress in their tennis lessons!
Guy Fawkes night in the rain
Rotorua; Ant was at a conference so we spent the previous weekend there. Hot springs and geysers in the middle of a city centre park. Phemonenal pools of sulphur, the smell of rotten eggs and one of the best brunches in the world (At the Fat dog cafe).
Going to the Netball world Cup competition at our local stadium, and meeting the English Team and getting C's ball signed.
Kitting out Roo's bedroom for under $150 dollars using Trademe ( like eBay).
Finding furniture from unlikely sources ( garage sales, Sally Army). Caitlin's Mackintosh chair is a major find.
The new spa, trampoline and barbeque...well why else are we here!
Ladies football at Laingholm on Tuesday nights. All that time spent watching John Terry was not in vain.
The container arriving and having all our stuff around us, after three months of living out of suitcases.
Putting up the Christmas tree after spending the day on the beach at Whatipu.
Watching Gok on Friday nights.
Caitlin being addicted to Shortland Street!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Still hanging on at the end of the earth
At last i find almost real broadband in New Zealand, but am too tired to write, Ho hum
Friday, September 14, 2007
Heathrow
It seems like an eternity since I last blogged. So much has happened but then so little that I need or choose to write about. OUr home is in a crate somewhere on a boat. The rest of my life is in 8 suitcases and four pieces of hand luggage somewhere in Heathrow airport. We have one and three quarter hours till we fly out to our new life. The kids have gone in search of food and I am becoming increasingly hot...too young for the menopause surely, especially as the kids want a kiwi brother or sister!
Auckland awaits
Auckland awaits
Monday, September 03, 2007
An empty house ( almost)
I am very impressed with packers.
Two men ( well a man and a Man U supporter) arrived at 11.30 left at 4.30 and had packed nearly our entire lives into boxes. We still have one bed ( going to the tip) a table and chairs, kettle and toaster, cutlery and our mess! Phew!
We are all feeling a little shell shocked! Roo is very clingy, Caitlin is being a little adult and I have had a little weep whilst writing good luck cards for school.
It feels like quite a relief seeing everything boxed, like we are organised...trouble is there are still cases to sort out. We have five filled and two half filled. In fact one of them is enroute to Oxford with mum in law, what's the betting we forget that one!
We are all exhausted. Chippie and video tonight I think
Two men ( well a man and a Man U supporter) arrived at 11.30 left at 4.30 and had packed nearly our entire lives into boxes. We still have one bed ( going to the tip) a table and chairs, kettle and toaster, cutlery and our mess! Phew!
We are all feeling a little shell shocked! Roo is very clingy, Caitlin is being a little adult and I have had a little weep whilst writing good luck cards for school.
It feels like quite a relief seeing everything boxed, like we are organised...trouble is there are still cases to sort out. We have five filled and two half filled. In fact one of them is enroute to Oxford with mum in law, what's the betting we forget that one!
We are all exhausted. Chippie and video tonight I think
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Full on.
Since 9.00 this morning we hve been packing, tidying, dismantling, tipping, dumping, dusting, cleaning and more. I am exhausted but there is still so much to do. I'm off to pack my hand luggage just so it is all in one place.
Tra la la
Tra la la
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Heart pounding
We have been out to the Mintfest Art festival tonight, a rather random melange of strret theatre, performance hair dressing and naked frenchmen syphoning red wine through their...
We weren't supposed to be going, still lots to do, but Ant had arranged to see Enda ( who has bought our car). Turns out they weren't in so we wandered aimlessly through Kendal on the off chance. I found the whole thing very frustrating. Today has been fairly aimless indeed. I did get a haircut and some space and C went and bought crocs with Granny, and Roo had a lunch date with mates. I did manage to fill 6 bin bags but even so. There is still so much to do, I can't decide if we should be taking more or less stuff. I have no idea how much sorting I should have done, or how much will just be packed. I have never had my house packed before so I don't know quite what I'm facing.
I am feeling very tense...of course Ant just says my head has gone but then I am feeling very out of control. I just want to escape tonight, to walk out and leave him to it. I am convinced that stuff wil be crated that we need to take with us and we'll end up with eight huge cases full, even with all my throwing out.
Ant seems to be thinking purely in terms of money; every penny counts. He's ruing my not letting him have a house sale but then I didn't feel we were organised enough. And we still aren't!
We weren't supposed to be going, still lots to do, but Ant had arranged to see Enda ( who has bought our car). Turns out they weren't in so we wandered aimlessly through Kendal on the off chance. I found the whole thing very frustrating. Today has been fairly aimless indeed. I did get a haircut and some space and C went and bought crocs with Granny, and Roo had a lunch date with mates. I did manage to fill 6 bin bags but even so. There is still so much to do, I can't decide if we should be taking more or less stuff. I have no idea how much sorting I should have done, or how much will just be packed. I have never had my house packed before so I don't know quite what I'm facing.
I am feeling very tense...of course Ant just says my head has gone but then I am feeling very out of control. I just want to escape tonight, to walk out and leave him to it. I am convinced that stuff wil be crated that we need to take with us and we'll end up with eight huge cases full, even with all my throwing out.
Ant seems to be thinking purely in terms of money; every penny counts. He's ruing my not letting him have a house sale but then I didn't feel we were organised enough. And we still aren't!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Big Brother
So Brian won BB! Richly deserved!
I am really not sure how I am going to cope with the next few weks. There are so many goodbyes to say. I have said so long to some school colleagues/friends and that was hard. What will it be like with my family?
We are getting to the end of the road packing wise but I still can't believe how much stuff there is in our house.
Feeling weepy
p.s. Moji is back off his holiday
I am really not sure how I am going to cope with the next few weks. There are so many goodbyes to say. I have said so long to some school colleagues/friends and that was hard. What will it be like with my family?
We are getting to the end of the road packing wise but I still can't believe how much stuff there is in our house.
Feeling weepy
p.s. Moji is back off his holiday
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